Friday, 27 January 2012

Get up and dance

Just like old times, but it's not 5:00, it's 3:33

Boo, Vicky, Dae, Ko-Zo, Mona
The amazing Pilou
Summer's VibeTivity

Monday, 23 January 2012

Thank you!

It's Monday, I haven't had enough sleep, work is tough, and it's cold and damp.

But I have seen all three of my girls in the last 12hrs, and I'm happy, happy, happy!

How happy?

Erm... about as happy as a Sammy Davis Jr with three Go-go dancers grooving to Errol Dixon. what? Wait! What the hell would that look like?

Something like this :-

Errol Dixon ~ I don't want

This blog just hasn't featured anywhere near enough go-go dancers recently!

Anyway, thank you girls. I'm happy when I'm with you, and I'm happy thinking of you when I'm not with you.

Sunday, 22 January 2012

Another Dum-dom

Did you ever hear of the Golden Crocoduck awards? There should be something similar for Dum-doms...
Anyway, here is a contender.

From his profile:-

I take my responsability as a way to live showing respect and willing.
Real power comes when you don't even need it..
When all you need is understad, respect and protect your loved ones without expecting anything in exchange.

[09:40:50] Lord Sime : Hello Vicky. I saw you into BDSM RL submissionc.
[09:40:57] Lord Sime : Contact me when you have time.
[09:41:06] Vinny Caramel: I have time
[09:41:43] Lord Sime : Good come and meet me. [Sends TP]
[09:42:50] Vinny Caramel: I'm quite comfortable where I am thanks.
[09:43:16] Lord Sime : I am not askign for your stupidopinion
[09:43:23] Lord Sime : I am the one making decitions here
[09:43:32] Lord Sime : but anyway you are not that sub as i need.
[09:43:36] Lord Sime : bye freaky sub
[09:43:43] Lord Sime : muted

Is anybody else noticing a correlation between illiteracy and ineptitude?

I would suggest that he begin his education by trying to gain mastery over his own profile info by getting himself a good spell-checker. But in this case a dictionary would be better, then he could look up the meaning of some of the words.

A mediocre Master tells,
a good Master teaches,
an excellent Master explains,
but a True Master inspires
                  -- Anonymous

Tuesday, 17 January 2012

Function at the Junction

A 15min film short, centered around the Northern Soul dance scene circa 1975.


Monday, 16 January 2012

Matty (mattbriar)

It's true! Hansome boy looking for a good home.
Good AO, good skin, well dressed, proportions aren't bad. He's polite, smart, and it looks like he has some talent and can show a little initiative and originality. Who could refuse?


Handsome, charming, intelligent but most of all humble boy with a devotion for being dominated シ Languages: German and English 
Contact Matty! Don't wait, do it now!



Dreams let me do all the things I can't do when I'm wide awake.

Maceo and All the King's Men ~ Dreams

Sunday, 15 January 2012


Valenia Revnik was kind enough to share with me this notecard which he sent a prospective sub:-

1) Verbal Assignment - What is it that YOU need? D/s relationships aren't just about what the sub can do for the dom, but also what the dom can do for the sub. I'm writing things that I need from you to take steps in this relationship, but what do you need from ME? What are things you need to know? What is something that you would need for me to do? Any good relationship is a two-way street, so I want you to think critically of what you'd need to see from me to move forward with this. This doesn't need to be answered today, or even at all, but you do need to think about it. If you ever think of something, do not hesitate to tell me.

2) Written Assignment - What are you looking for? For this assignment, I want you to tell me what it is you're looking for in a relationship. What kind of dynamic do you looking for? How do you want to behave for your dominant, ideally? What do you need from your dominant? What are your long and short term goals in such a relationship? Just describe to me your absolute ideal D/S situation. If we get into a permanent relationship, what would you ultimately want out it? What would want out of me? What would you want out of yourself? Take your time in writing this. There is no hurry. I'd rather wait for it to be complete than in my hands immediately.

3) Extra bits That should be enough to keep you busy for a bit, yeah? I'm glad I met you, sweetheart. I don't want you to worry about trying to please me through this whole process; I want you to concentrate on honest compatibility. If an assignment feels boring or unnecessary, tell me. If anything I do feels pushy or uncomfortable, tell me. I do not in any way want you to mold yourself for me, at this point. If something isn't perfect, do not change yourself for me; tell me what the conflict is, and then we can discuss the best way of approaching it together. Take care, dear. We'll talk soon.
When he showed me this, two thoughts hit me. The first was, "Thank you! I'm not uber weird! Somebody else is approaching D/s in the same way I do". Sometimes it seems like subs either think that Dommes/Doms are mind readers, or instinctively know what a sub needs and thats what makes them Ds. Or they feel that a sub shouldn't actually have any needs.

My second thought was that this is a stroke of genius to set this as an assignment. I beat my head against a wall with this subject, asking what a sub needs. Often the only answer I can get is, "I want what you want Ma'am"... or words to that effect. Could this be a better approach?

Having had time to think about it, I like to talk at length with my subs, teasing out answers. I'm not sure that this approach is right for my style. Although a combination of the two could work wonders (I'm not suggesting that  Valenia doesn't talk).

But the reason I post this here is to illustrate that there is more to this than, "Come here girl, kneel before me". And D/s relationship is still a relationship. And if a relationship isn't equally beneficial to both parties, it is doomed to fail. And being dominant as a personality does not give you special magic powers to know what a submissive personality wants. There really isn't any such thing as a typical sub, they are all different and have different needs. The drives may be similar, but they will be expressed in different ways.

If you are the kind of submissive who is very patient, then you can wait for your Dom/Domme to find all your buttons, we tend to be good at that. Or you can save a load of time by being open about it. However, I suspect that very few have actually pondered this question...

The number one job of the dominant is to continually seduce consent
from the bottom. -- Joseph Bean

Am I Dominant or Submissive?
It seems people come along and want to have a go at BDSM, love the idea of some bondage and spanking, so they ask themselves, "Am I Dominant or Submissive?".

They have given themselves a false dichotomy right there, because you don't have to be either. It isn't an on/off thing, and if you are actually somewhere in the middle of the scale, then you are probably neither.

...worse still is that it is that people already here who seem to have little understanding of this, and saying, "Oh, you are a sub, subs must behave this way".

Within 'the scene' there doesn't seem to be universal agreement about terminology,  and I'm probably the worst person to talk about this because I largely ignore the scene anyway. But pick the bones out of this...

The behaviors of bottoms and submissives are similar, and in many cases overlap. For this reason, the terms are used interchangeably in some discussions, although there are differences between the two. Behaviors of submissives and bottoms often overlap, with the bottom also being submissive, but this is not always the case. Someone who is "topping" may be doing so at the request, or even the direction, of the bottom partner(s). In such a case, the dominant's function would reside with the bottom(s). Tops who act within this kind of relationship dynamic are sometimes called a service tops. A bottom who has dominance over the activities or the relationship is said to be topping from the bottom, even though they are really expressing dominance from the bottom.

Well, sub or bottom, you'll get no problems from me. It's a free country baby, you do what you wanna do. If you want to top from the bottom I won't think any the less of you. But I really don't think it helps to take somebody who wants to be tied up, used and abused, and forcing the label of 'submissive' on them.

So next time somebody asks you, "Are you Dom or sub?", take a step back.

Saturday, 14 January 2012

Thursday, 12 January 2012

Masters and other animals

I was lucky enough to be approached today by that rarest of animals, a Master. For the longest of time I have pondered the question, what is the difference between a regular Dom and a Master, because they seem to think there is an important distinction, although nobody has been able to tell me what it is.

So for educational purposes, I'll print the conversation here so that we might study. Names changed to protect the ignorant.

-- Instant message logging enabled --
[09:17:15] Sir D####: hello
[09:17:45] Vinny Caramel: Hello dear
[09:18:00] Sir D####: how you
[09:18:11] Vinny Caramel: Fine
[09:18:23] Sir D####: are you a slave
[09:19:01] Vinny Caramel: You are very perceptive. What gave me away?
[09:19:40] Sir D####: you just look like the slave type
[09:20:29] Sir D####: step over here so we can talk
[09:20:45] Vinny Caramel: Oh, well you have certainly mastered your environment. You must be a top hunter of slaves.
[09:21:35] Sir D####: i just know what to look for
[09:22:06] Vinny Caramel: Oh! BlacOpal! I have that suit. It looks better on me.
[09:22:56] Vinny Caramel: You AVI doesn't seem to be working.
[09:23:08] Vinny Caramel: The AO is off
[09:23:10] Sir D####: come to me
[09:23:57] Vinny Caramel: What all the way out there? But the real Doms stand right at the centre, over here where I am.
[09:24:38] Sir D####: read this
[09:25:09] Vinny Caramel: Thanks, I'll take a look at it later.
[09:25:22] Sir D####: ok
[09:26:08] Vinny Caramel: Is it all your own work or is a standard copy/pasta sort of set of rules?
[09:26:29] Sir D####: my work
[09:29:37] Vinny Caramel: It says in your profile that you are Master. What marks you out as a master rather than a regular Dom?
[09:30:35] Vinny Caramel: It's ok, take your time.
[09:30:35] Sir D####: join me and find out
[09:32:07] Vinny Caramel: Maybe, but right now, I'm not really feeling it, dominated or anything.
[09:34:50] Vinny Caramel: Now your rules (#11) say, "We love all of you equally." -- Right now I'[m not feeling the love. When does that part happen?
[09:35:47] Vinny Caramel: And #12 says I must start as a slave. Don't you think I'm a bit too 'top draw' to just be a slave?
[09:40:12] Sir D####: yes
[09:45:07] Vinny Caramel: Oh! a friendship request! But can't you do something to impress me? Take control of the situation? Dominate the conversation maybe?
[09:46:23] Sir D####: i order you to friend me now
[09:46:42] Sir D####: and to come to me that is an order
[09:49:46] Vinny Caramel: This is how a Master does it is it?
[09:50:00] Vinny Caramel: I'm learning a lot already! :)
[09:50:41] Sir D####: i guess you dont want this so i guess i leave you alone
[09:50:43] Vinny Caramel: I think I pressed the wrong button. Send it again.
[09:51:28] Vinny Caramel: Don't go. I'd love to know the difference between a Master and a regular Dom.
I have studied this in depth, but as yet I can't fathom why this technique doesn't seem to be having an effect on me... or indeed where the technique actually is. Come to think of it, I don't think he was wearing his belt buckle.

There may be more clues in the two notecards sent, The contract:-

Binding Contract for ### (keep one copy for future reference)
1. You will treat ( Sir D### , Lady C### , and mistress h### ) with respect in order to get respect. When you see me or the mistresses you must kneel.
2. You will treat the other pets in the group with respect and they will show you respect.
3. You must never take the collar off unless you have my permission.
4. You never change or take your shape off with out permission from ( Sir D### , Lady C### , and mistress h### ).
5. You are not allowed to add anyone to your collar. ( Sir D### , Lady C### , and mistress h### )are the only ones who can do that.
6. You will wear whatever ( Sir D### , Lady C### , and mistress h### ) have you to wear . You have no say so over your clothes. Only ( Sir D### , Lady C### , and mistress h### ) do.
7. You have to obey ( Sir D### , Lady C### , and mistress h### ) at all times. You must listen to all orders and commands from ( Sir D### , Lady C### , and mistress h### ). You do what ( Sir D### , Lady C### , and mistress h### )say, when we say , how we tell you, wherever we tell you to do it at.
8.If you are in RLV with your master you must ask permission to do whatever you need to do ex. inventory, maps , attachments, cloths, talk sit/stand. we will have these locked.
9. You cant be in RLV with anyone else as long as you are owned, protected and collared by us.
10. The mistresses are to be obeyed like the master.
11. Jealousy is not allowed, We love all of you equally. There will be no fighting or arguing amongst the group even among the mistresses and master. we have final say in these issues. When we are dealing with another pet, you will sit quietly and wait till you are spoken to
12 all must start as a slave. If you wish to move up to a new level in the group you will have to work and earn it.
13. All members will include this group in their picks.
14 You can expect to experience loss of freedom as you will not be permitted to wander outside of the castle unaccompanied until you have been transformed into a slave we can be proud of.
15. We will train your mind into accepting that you are the best slave and your only happiness is ensuring our satisfaction with you.
16. Master and Madame retain their right to rent you out for a definite period of time.
17. must inform master ,and mistresses of being afk ,brbs ect..... one is not allowed to come in the bedroom unless (master d###,madame c###,or mistress h###) brings you invite you to the bedroom
Do all of the above and you will grow in the group.
If you can not follow these rules, you do not belong here.
We expect you to give us your all, heart , body,shape,mind, and soul.

Sir D###
Lady C###
mistress h###

And the Training notes:-

Rules and tasks for slaves

you will be trained on all aspects of submission

: you will need to be able to dance , lapdance, oral, anal and vanilla sex, girl on girl, boy on boy, 3some etc
: you will need to be prepared to sit and wait
: to be tied up and tortured
: to be left alone for long periods
: you will need to be able to work your own collar , to be able to put yourself in the correct pose at the right time
: to do chores
: to know how to enter and leave a room
: to me a maid
: to serve food and drink
: to address other dominants
: to serve other dominants sexually

On the face of it, who would not yield? And yet...

Will you take this worthless slut?

Some Rambling Advice for New Subs. (and some not-so-new ones)

"Will you take this worthless slut to use and abuse?"

I have the best clothes, the best house, the best furniture, the best cars, and if I ever get around to it, the best yacht. I like to look good and be surrounded by the very best.

So why would I want a worthless slut? I don't want anything thats worthless, I'm after a prize.

I want a sub I can be proud of, who makes me look good.

If you go touting yourself as a worthless tart, I'm sure there will be some worthless piece of shit wannabe Dom who will have you, and that may be your thing. But it's not going to get a foot in the door with me or any of the dominant people I have any respect for.

OK, so it's only roleplay. I get it, in fact I fully understand why you want to be abused and treated like fuck-meat. I also understand why a Dom would want that... worth thinking about those motivations.

"I beg you, take this boy Goddess, I will worship you!"

I don't take boys, but even if I did, for fucks sake have some self respect. If you want to be a sniveling little worm, expect to have to pay real money for it.

I'm not a professional, I'm not in it for the money, I'm in it for me. If I wanted to humiliate a boy, I'd go break a Dom, I wouldn't want somebody who has no self respect to begin with.

There's no kudos, no challenge in being able to Domme a loser. Be a man!

"I have no limits, you can do anything you want to me!"

Oh really? I'll call bullshit on that.

But even if it were true, why would you think that having no limits were a desirable feature?

What should I surmise about somebody who claims to have no limits? If you have been roleplaying this stuff for that long that you need to be impaled while a dog shits in your mouth in order to get off, then maybe it's time to get a new hobby. Maybe you should try some RL BDSM? And if you really have no limits in RL, maybe you should get your head examined.

Once again, maybe you can find somebody who wants to RP that stuff with you, but it won't be me. I'm far more likely to want to defile a virgin than even think about your prolapsed colon.

(As a side note, it's been my experience that when girls have rather extreme fantasies, they are usually just desperate for attention and affection. Once they have had a cuddle or two, any thoughts of being raped to a bloody pulp by robots tend to fade away. And they start to become needy and clingy. This isn't very desirable either.)

More dumb behavior.

I lose count of how many times in the average day I am asked if I take boys, or if I'm a sub.

It says in my profile multiple times, that I don't take boys. So anybody who asks me hasn't bothered to read my profile. And is therefore a moron. Why wouldn't you read somebody's profile before contacting them? You have to be a moron right? Would I be interested in a moron?

(I would be interested in somebody who wants to please me, takes the time to find out what would please me, will go the extra mile, put in the effort. Not somebody who can't be bothered to read a profile).

And if you ask me if I'm a sub, I'll assume you are just taking the piss.

I'm often approached by people, mostly men, who ask if I would take them, more-or-less in the first few lines.

Why should I when they haven't said anything remotely interesting? Maybe the information in their profile will blow me away? Maybe it is filled with such original thought, such wit and humour, such warmth and charm... what are the chances?

Sadly it hasn't happened yet.

How to do it.

Firstly fill out your profile avoiding any of the clichés in my previous article.

Tell the world about yourself. Don't tell us you are funny and witty, if you need to tell people that you most likely aren't. Instead tell us your values (without whining about back-stabbers, threatening anybody who tries to hurt you, and generally behaving like a victim). Tell us what you do appreciate and value rather than telling us what you hate.

Go through your groups, display the ones that say something about you, hide the ones that don't. If you fill your groups full of designer labels, be prepared to have people assume you are a ponce.

Turn your Pics into a shrine to your friends only if you want people to think you are a fluffy headed drama queen who will spend most of their time distracted by IMs about mittens on kittens.

If you are going to use your pics for the intended purpose of showing us your favorite places, then don't use the default text, write your own blurb, tell us why you like the place. Believe it or not, a Domme might actually like you to take her to your favorite Jazz club.

And an invitation to a Jazz club would be a far better approach than, "Do you like to fuck Miss?".

Yes believe it or not, there are idiots who will try and open a conversation with lines like that. This short article really isn't likely to be read by them. There are some things you should be able to learn just by being alive, and if you think that kind of approach is going to mark you out as a keeper, you obviously don't take that much interest in the world around.

You know what? This may be Second Life, but just like real life, certain things are attractive, and some things are a real turn off. In the real world, I am far more likely to be attracted to somebody if they are good-looking and well turned out.  In Second Life, even the best looking AVI isn't going to make me swoon, but that is no reason not to make an effort, it's reason to try even harder.

We are told not to judge people by appearance, but it's something we as a species are programed to do. While it's not foolproof, it's a fairly reliable method 99% of the time, which is why we do it.

Here's a clue for you. Never once have I heard a woman say, "He's so hot with that huge upper bod, tiny head and walnut coloured skin".

However I have heard girls comment that a man is really cute because he well proportioned, realistic, wears cool clothes and has a unique look.

The good, the bad and the ugly.

Eye-Sore Vs Eye-Candy

There about a zillion reasons why it pays to at least make an effort to look  good in SL, the first is that is shows you made an effort. If you have at least done some shopping it shows that you are prepared to spend some time in SL rather than just turning up for half an hour before bedtime to have a wank. It means you are not lazy, have some imagination and some pride in what you do.

Let me put it another way... what kind of RolePlay should we expect from somebody who is lazy, has no imagination, no pride in what they do, and only here for some one handed typing?

And if you actually think Bling the bling will impress us, you will probably think that riding a pose ball while typing 'Ohhh, ahhh', constitutes emoting.

Besides, if you put in a bit of effort with your appearance, others might do too and take the time to give you some help.

Ready for the approach

So now your AVI looks okay, your profile looks okay, you may even get some Dommes/doms to IM you. Although I wouldn't count on it, most like you to go to them. So how do you open a conversation.

When you say, "Hi", it will be assumed that you will next say, "how are you", followed by, "how has your day been?". My first thought is, "Here we go again".

I know, instead, why don't you say something like, "Hello Ma'am, I love your shoes". Oh no, we are wise to that one too! You need to be more original than that although you are on the right track. Open a conversation with something *about* the person you are talking to. Maybe you could ask them a question, thats always a good way to engage somebody.

But where do you start when you know nothing about that person? Ah! you could check their profile for information! You could find something in there that makes you wonder, and ask them about it.

And now you know why profiles are so important. Of course, if you are checking somebody out and their profile is devoid of any useful information at all... infuriating isn't it?

And for the record, asking a Domme to describe what she does to her subs isn't having a conversation, it's trying to get your jollies for free. I can only speak for myself, but I consider it insulting, firstly that you would try and use me, secondly that you think I'm dumb enough to fall for it.

Also spotted

Recently seen in a profile, an interesting false dichotomy:-

"im not a dom or a sub still undecided i think i will try both any volonteers? lol
oh n Im a dude other dude may not apply...UPDATE! THE SUB THING IS NOT 4 ME...I AM DOM"

Noted. Thanks for the warning.


"I'm from Sydney!"
In the absence of any other information,
I formed my own opinions about S###.
And here's another one with a blank profile:-

[06:45:43] S###: hi
[06:46:01] Vinny Caramel: Hello
[06:46:26] S###: umm would you like to take me as your slave
[06:46:48] Vinny Caramel: Why would I want to do that?
[06:47:10] S###: well iam a sub..and you make my knees go week for you
[06:48:02] Vinny Caramel: Ok, so now I know you are a sub. Anything else I should know before I leap into a decision?
[06:48:22] S###: lol
[06:48:30] S###: i thin thats it
[06:49:35] Vinny Caramel: Thats it? You don't want to give me anything to make me believe you are anything other than a complete moron?
[06:50:01] S###: wel iam from Sydney
[06:50:26] S###: and i wanted to be dominated by a woman all my life
[06:50:37] S###: so i thought SL would be the place
[06:51:22] Vinny Caramel: This may come as a shock, but there is a little more to it than that.

Queer Eye for the Straight Guy

I'm going to announce this new service even though all the details haven't been worked out yet.

I'm sure you have all heard of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy so I don't have too much explaining to do. "[...] gay men are superior in matters of fashion, style, personal grooming, interior design and culture." So take advantage of this in Second life to gain yourself an attractive AVI which catches women's attention. Because us girls like to be seen with men that make us look good.

It all came about because I had several conversations with girlfriends about how crappy men's AVIs are, and how said men just don't seem to want to do anything about it. And franky many of them would be pretty hopeless even if hey tried.

But I know some gay guys who look amazing! Some of them are just great at building AVIs and picking out clothes, and others are smart enough to hire personal shoppers.

To take advantage of this service you will need L$5000. Of this, L$2k (paid in advance) is used to pay for your Queer Eye's time and a realistic shape, and L$3k you spend on a skin, an AO, hair, shoes and clothes. You'll end with a fully dressed new AVI.

To a girl like me, L$5k is not a lot of money. But it seems some men are complete tightwads who would balk at the idea of spending that kind of Linden, even though it's peanuts in real money. But if you insist on thinking about it... if you are a submissive looking for a Mistress, a Queer Eye makeover will help you get the look a Mistress is looking for. One guy I know of is a stripper and host in an adult club, how long do you think it would take him to make the money back in extra tips? And as it seems that only 1 in every 1000 straight men looks like a perfect 10, your chances of finding romance will be significantly improved.

 To be fair, there isn't as much choice for the male shopper in regards to skin and hair, and it can be difficult to know where to go. Us women have the advantage of being able to see women who do look great and ask them for advice and tips. And there are no shortage of fashion blogs. One of the advantages of hiring a personal shopper is that they won't be experimenting on you, they know whats good quality, whats good value, what will work and where to get it. There will be no wasted money on items which look good in the photos but can't be made to fit, and no wasted time traipsing around shops looking, and no uncertainty.

If you are interested, contact me in-world.

T&C - You pay L$2000 to your personal shopper up front. All other items you buy direct from the vendor. If at any time you deviate from your personal shopper's advice, they reserve the right to terminate the arrangement. If you run out of money before the shopping is done,  they terminate the arrangement. If you go AFK or waste time, the personal shopper may suspend the appointment to a time of their choosing. You are paying your personal shopper for their time, and their good taste, refunds will not be given on the basis that it doesn't align with your taste. Refunds will only be given in the event that the service is not provided, in which case I (Vicky Caramel) stand as guarantor of the advanced payment.

Rates are L$500 for half an hour if you should wish to seek additional outfits or help with your profile information. All fees must be payed in advance, no exceptions.

Saturday, 7 January 2012

Somebody addressed me correctly!

It's taken about a year, but finally somebody got it right. It's amazing really, because there are more choices of  formal address that are acceptable, than those that aren't. So he's the list of what is okay:-

Vicky - because it's 2012 for fucks sake. Besides, I really don't need a title or want to be address formally.

Mrs Caramel - Because I'm married.

Ms Caramel - Because this is also a correct modern title which doesn't reference marital status.

M'am, Ma'am, or Madam - This is how you address a woman when you don't know what her status or title is.

Almost acceptable:-

Domina or Maîtresse - It kinda says what I am, but it's not all that I am.

Mommy - Get to know me first! Sums the whole thing up really, what you call someone when you have a relationship can be any of the above, or below. But not till you are in a relationship with them.

And here's what isn't acceptable:-

Mistress - Technically speaking it is correct. But in modern English has been superseded by  Miss, Ms Mrs. Can still be used for the head of a household or school. But in common usage the word usually means a kept woman, which I am not.

Miss - This is the formal address for children and young unmarried women. While male children earn the right to become a Mister at age 18, women aren't considered grown-up until they marry. If I was role playing a 25 year old school teacher, I might put up with it, but I don't. I don't find it insulting to be called Miss, I just think the person using it is ignorant.

Lady - I can be a gentlewoman and lady-like, but I never married a Duke. This is as dumb as calling yourself Princess.

Queen - of what? I do know a few queens, but...

Goddess - Oh for fucks sake, come on!


Regarding male titles, 'Master' is how you address a child, unless the person has some specific role, occupation or qualification. As far as I know, nobody is awarding accredited qualifications in BDSM, so the title can't be anything but pretentious.

The correct form of address would be Mister (Mr.) or Sir. But 'Sir' shouldn't be used as a prefix to the name, unless Sir happens to have a knighthood. Nor is he likely to be a Lord, or a Baron and if he is calling himself something like Dungeon Master, he is definitely a complete knob.

Friday, 6 January 2012

Like a Bad Girl

The Cramps ~ Like a bad girl should

Guide to Profiles

If you are looking for good ideas for things to put in your Second Life profiles page, this ain't it!
It's a brief guide to the unoriginal stuff you find in profiles and some possible meanings:-

I love to have fun = I lack the imagination to write anything fun. Entertain me.

I'm here for the fun = I'm already fapping.

I'm far to complex to be summed up in 500 characters. If you want to know me, just IM me = There is nothing interesting about me I can fill this space with, oh god please talk to me!

SL=SL & RL=RL = I'm terrified of this stuff and if my husband ever found out he'd kill me. I feel dirty... so ashamed. It's okay, it's not real, it's just make believe. Deep breaths.

My RL is none of your business = I'm really a man.

No voice, no pics, no cam = I'm really a man.

No RP limits = I'm really a man and really desperate.

Sweet submissive girl = I'm really a man, I raided my wife's knicker draw.

Respect must be earned...yadda, yadda, yadda = I usually get walked all over and my fragile ego often causes me pain.

A true friend... yadda, yadda, yadda = I usually get walked all over and my fragile ego often causes me pain. Plus I'm really needy.

I have been in SL longer than you might think = I can't bare to think that there are people that have been doing this longer than me. You ain't better than me!

I'm being myself. If you don't like that you can fuck off = I'm an obnoxious brat who pisses everybody off.

I don't care what you think of me = I do really, but I can't help myself, I'm going to act like a cunt soon enough. It's just a matter of time.

Devoted to my partner for 4 years = When they aren't around I'm at Slut Street. They suspect I'm cheating, and is stupid enough to think that if I fill my profile full of devotion it will make me stop. Obviously I prefer my women blond.

I'm sapiosexual = All the cool kids are and I don't want to be left out.

Over 6 years experience in RP = I can't say anything in less than a paragraph. I could bore an arse-hole in a wooden horse.

Drama free zone = I cause drama.

I'm not stupid = Everybody treats me like I'm stupid... because I'm as dumb as an Southern Baptist.

I mute fools = Fools tend to outsmart me. But if I mute them then they can badmouth me all they want in local and I won't even know! Ha! Who's laughing now eh?

A woman is only truly free when at the feet of a man = I have tried everything to get laid but I'm hopeless, this BDSM stuff has got to be worth a shot. Amirite?

If you want to know about me, talk to me = I finally figured out that I was really dumb for leaving my profile blank. Maybe this will work?

I'm a bitch = Wish I was a bitch but I lack the wit.

Downloading 1st life info... 97%  = I don't have a sense of humour but assume that those who do find this funny because so many people have it in their profiles - A million people can't be wrong!

I don't bite... hard! = I don't have a sense of humour but assume that those who do find this funny because so many people have it in their profiles - A million people can't be wrong!

[Blank Profile] = It's better to let people think there is absolutely nothing interesting about me, than write something and prove it. Move along, nothing to see here.

[Poetry] = If I had any thoughts of my own, I would be unable to express them. Poetry might make me look deep, smart and cultured.

[Bible quotes] = Ain't poetry for smart folks?

[Song lyrics] = I'm too lazy to pick up a book.

[Unreadable shite made up of symbols] = If I write some... like crap yeah? And like and make it like, unreadable to grown-ups... it will be like, really awesome and shit in'it. Solid.


You may notice that people seldom speak at the Bondage Ranch and similar places. It's a meat market. People look at profiles to see if they can find anyone interesting. If like me, you are often there in a text browser, profiles and profile pictures are all you have to go on.

 I wrote my profile to scare away time wasters.  It is the nature of subs that they like someone dominant to make the first move, but I generally don't unless I see somebody really special. Even so, I may be approached a dozen times a day (depending on how I dress my AVI). If I have to ask to find out who and what you are, and what you want, and I'm doing this several times a day, it seriously eats into my good will.

Monday, 2 January 2012


Ta-dah, your personality type is INTJ!

Introverted (I) 68% Extraverted (E) 32%
Intuitive (N) 55% Sensing (S) 45%
Thinking (T) 90% Feeling (F) 10%
Judging (J) 59% Perceiving (P) 41%

INTJs are one of the rarest of the sixteen personality types, and account for about 1–4% of the population.

To outsiders, INTJs may appear to project an aura of "definiteness", of self-confidence. This self-confidence, sometimes mistaken for simple arrogance by the less decisive, is actually of a very specific rather than a general nature; its source lies in the specialized knowledge systems that most INTJs start building at an early age. When it comes to their own areas of expertise -- and INTJs can have several -- they will be able to tell you almost immediately whether or not they can help you, and if so, how. INTJs know what they know, and perhaps still more importantly, they know what they don't know.