Thursday, 12 January 2012

Will you take this worthless slut?

Some Rambling Advice for New Subs. (and some not-so-new ones)

"Will you take this worthless slut to use and abuse?"

I have the best clothes, the best house, the best furniture, the best cars, and if I ever get around to it, the best yacht. I like to look good and be surrounded by the very best.

So why would I want a worthless slut? I don't want anything thats worthless, I'm after a prize.

I want a sub I can be proud of, who makes me look good.

If you go touting yourself as a worthless tart, I'm sure there will be some worthless piece of shit wannabe Dom who will have you, and that may be your thing. But it's not going to get a foot in the door with me or any of the dominant people I have any respect for.

OK, so it's only roleplay. I get it, in fact I fully understand why you want to be abused and treated like fuck-meat. I also understand why a Dom would want that... worth thinking about those motivations.



"I beg you, take this boy Goddess, I will worship you!"

I don't take boys, but even if I did, for fucks sake have some self respect. If you want to be a sniveling little worm, expect to have to pay real money for it.

I'm not a professional, I'm not in it for the money, I'm in it for me. If I wanted to humiliate a boy, I'd go break a Dom, I wouldn't want somebody who has no self respect to begin with.

There's no kudos, no challenge in being able to Domme a loser. Be a man!

"I have no limits, you can do anything you want to me!"

Oh really? I'll call bullshit on that.

But even if it were true, why would you think that having no limits were a desirable feature?

What should I surmise about somebody who claims to have no limits? If you have been roleplaying this stuff for that long that you need to be impaled while a dog shits in your mouth in order to get off, then maybe it's time to get a new hobby. Maybe you should try some RL BDSM? And if you really have no limits in RL, maybe you should get your head examined.

Once again, maybe you can find somebody who wants to RP that stuff with you, but it won't be me. I'm far more likely to want to defile a virgin than even think about your prolapsed colon.

(As a side note, it's been my experience that when girls have rather extreme fantasies, they are usually just desperate for attention and affection. Once they have had a cuddle or two, any thoughts of being raped to a bloody pulp by robots tend to fade away. And they start to become needy and clingy. This isn't very desirable either.)

More dumb behavior.

I lose count of how many times in the average day I am asked if I take boys, or if I'm a sub.

It says in my profile multiple times, that I don't take boys. So anybody who asks me hasn't bothered to read my profile. And is therefore a moron. Why wouldn't you read somebody's profile before contacting them? You have to be a moron right? Would I be interested in a moron?

(I would be interested in somebody who wants to please me, takes the time to find out what would please me, will go the extra mile, put in the effort. Not somebody who can't be bothered to read a profile).

And if you ask me if I'm a sub, I'll assume you are just taking the piss.

I'm often approached by people, mostly men, who ask if I would take them, more-or-less in the first few lines.

Why should I when they haven't said anything remotely interesting? Maybe the information in their profile will blow me away? Maybe it is filled with such original thought, such wit and humour, such warmth and charm... what are the chances?

Sadly it hasn't happened yet.

How to do it.

Firstly fill out your profile avoiding any of the clichés in my previous article.

Tell the world about yourself. Don't tell us you are funny and witty, if you need to tell people that you most likely aren't. Instead tell us your values (without whining about back-stabbers, threatening anybody who tries to hurt you, and generally behaving like a victim). Tell us what you do appreciate and value rather than telling us what you hate.

Go through your groups, display the ones that say something about you, hide the ones that don't. If you fill your groups full of designer labels, be prepared to have people assume you are a ponce.

Turn your Pics into a shrine to your friends only if you want people to think you are a fluffy headed drama queen who will spend most of their time distracted by IMs about mittens on kittens.

If you are going to use your pics for the intended purpose of showing us your favorite places, then don't use the default text, write your own blurb, tell us why you like the place. Believe it or not, a Domme might actually like you to take her to your favorite Jazz club.

And an invitation to a Jazz club would be a far better approach than, "Do you like to fuck Miss?".

Yes believe it or not, there are idiots who will try and open a conversation with lines like that. This short article really isn't likely to be read by them. There are some things you should be able to learn just by being alive, and if you think that kind of approach is going to mark you out as a keeper, you obviously don't take that much interest in the world around.

You know what? This may be Second Life, but just like real life, certain things are attractive, and some things are a real turn off. In the real world, I am far more likely to be attracted to somebody if they are good-looking and well turned out.  In Second Life, even the best looking AVI isn't going to make me swoon, but that is no reason not to make an effort, it's reason to try even harder.

We are told not to judge people by appearance, but it's something we as a species are programed to do. While it's not foolproof, it's a fairly reliable method 99% of the time, which is why we do it.

Here's a clue for you. Never once have I heard a woman say, "He's so hot with that huge upper bod, tiny head and walnut coloured skin".

However I have heard girls comment that a man is really cute because he well proportioned, realistic, wears cool clothes and has a unique look.

The good, the bad and the ugly.




Eye-Sore Vs Eye-Candy

There about a zillion reasons why it pays to at least make an effort to look  good in SL, the first is that is shows you made an effort. If you have at least done some shopping it shows that you are prepared to spend some time in SL rather than just turning up for half an hour before bedtime to have a wank. It means you are not lazy, have some imagination and some pride in what you do.

Let me put it another way... what kind of RolePlay should we expect from somebody who is lazy, has no imagination, no pride in what they do, and only here for some one handed typing?

And if you actually think Bling the bling will impress us, you will probably think that riding a pose ball while typing 'Ohhh, ahhh', constitutes emoting.

Besides, if you put in a bit of effort with your appearance, others might do too and take the time to give you some help.

Ready for the approach

So now your AVI looks okay, your profile looks okay, you may even get some Dommes/doms to IM you. Although I wouldn't count on it, most like you to go to them. So how do you open a conversation.

When you say, "Hi", it will be assumed that you will next say, "how are you", followed by, "how has your day been?". My first thought is, "Here we go again".

I know, instead, why don't you say something like, "Hello Ma'am, I love your shoes". Oh no, we are wise to that one too! You need to be more original than that although you are on the right track. Open a conversation with something *about* the person you are talking to. Maybe you could ask them a question, thats always a good way to engage somebody.

But where do you start when you know nothing about that person? Ah! you could check their profile for information! You could find something in there that makes you wonder, and ask them about it.

And now you know why profiles are so important. Of course, if you are checking somebody out and their profile is devoid of any useful information at all... infuriating isn't it?

And for the record, asking a Domme to describe what she does to her subs isn't having a conversation, it's trying to get your jollies for free. I can only speak for myself, but I consider it insulting, firstly that you would try and use me, secondly that you think I'm dumb enough to fall for it.