Friday, 29 June 2012

Pee-Play ~ You know it makes sense!

At last, an interesting subject... water sports! Yes I'm going to give my opinions about girls who piss on each other. For many it is a limit, but in my experience, it is par-for-the-course with the kind of girls that I adore.

Vicky Porn
Somebody was telling me how they enjoyed my blogs and said they had seen the pictures (long pause).

I told her that the photos serve many purposes. For example, they show that women of all shapes and sizes can be beautiful, sexy and attractive. They also show examples of many fetishes, they show they are nothing too unusual, nothing to be afraid of, that they can also be beautiful, fun, and erotic. This includes Pee-Play.

I did think about showing you an example of such a photo in this post... but I would much prefer you go looking for yourself, you will find many amazing images on the journey.

So the person I was talking to said that she supposed it was okay, apart from the smell. I had to point out that the kind of girl who likes it usually has a thing for armpits, feet, fresh sweat, and smells in general and likes the odour (as long as it is fresh and not too strong - drink plenty of water if you are trying this at home kids).

I continued by saying the smell was rather the point of the whole thing, it is what explains it. And of all fetishes this was perhaps the the most natural and easiest to explain. Hence the title of this entry, it can be made sense of.

If I'm going to explain it, I may as well do it here.

Kink leads to emotions
I try to understand all fetishes, which generally boil down to how they make the person engaged in them feel. In the circles in which I move, which is with dolls, statues, mannequins and various objectification fetishes, there is a feeling of safety and security, belonging, being needed, which leads to esteem... essentially you can work your way up the Maslow's hierarchy.

[Oh yeah, some would nag me to say, it isn't a fetish or a kink, it is a lifestyle. I would say, 'Cobblers!'. Lifestyle and kink aren't mutually exclusive. The same kinds of motivations apply, even in fandom which is far harder to rationalize.]

And within the exact same group of fetishes, depending on how you play it, you can also have the same excitement you get from loss of inhibition that you get from other forms of D/s, because the sub isn't in control.

This part  involves emotion in a more obvious way, it isn't hard to imagine the sense of freedom coupled with a little bit of fear... but as it turns out, all that other good stuff involves emotions too. In recent years scientists have measured brain activity in people doing various tasks and it turns out things like 'certainty' are actually  emotions. So a feeling of security isn't just an absence of negative feelings, it is actually something positive which gives you a real feeling, which some people crave far more than mere sexual thrill.

Emotive language and trigger words 
Obviously, I seek and I attract certain kinds of girls so I see this often. But I would be remiss if I didn't mention the thrill of pushing limits and breaking taboos. As a Mommy Domme, it's not unusual for girls to want to call me 'Mommy' or 'Mamma'. There is no age-play involved, and  no overt incest-play, I'm sure of this because I'm the one in control, I know where things are going... yet I get a thrill being called 'Mommy', probably because it is slightly taboo. But is that all? There was an experiment (which I can't be bothered to find and cite) which was designed to measure the influence of positive and negative emotions on decision making. The words used to induce the moods were 'lung cancer' and 'Mother's love' -- the result of the experiment were a significant influence. Although just words, they instantly tap into something very real and almost universal concepts, an unstoppable enemy and your most trusted ally.

It is very easy to imagine that using 'Mommy' is a powerful trigger for a whole set of emotions and natural feelings.

Breaking a Taboo
Which brings us around to pee-play. Why would anybody want to play with piss? The most obvious answer is that it is taboo. I'm sure there are those that do only do it because the taboo gives them a thrill when the thrill of other kinky things has faded. There is certainly a thrill from the taboo with everybody I know who has done it.

I suppose at this point I should remind readers that I am not really talking about doing this in SL by jumping on a pose ball and spraying particles. I am a remote Domme, I do set real life tasks with real life urine... I have had girls piss in a bucket, I have had them wet themselves in private and in public, drink pee, bathe in pee, sit talking to me for periods of time wearing pee soaked clothing. I must also add that I only do this with girls who have an interest in it. I should also probably admit that it isn't a particular kink of mine, but I really do share in the intimacy and enjoyment my girls get from  the experience.

I also should note that as this is remote, it has it's limitations and both parties take what they can get. Obviously there are different aspects to this in the fantasies of the sub. Either being made to pee, do things with their own pee. Or having the desire to be peed on. The latter is the most desired and is Role-Played, but only the former is practical in a remote domination relationship. So there is not point in me differentiating.

Dirty little secret
But long before actually doing anything SL or RL, the taboo element comes into play when the matter is discussed between sub and Domme. Because of the nature of the subject, the sub has often never discussed it with another living soul. Some of them have discussed it, and even RP'd it, but doing it RL is a whole other prospect, and the admission that they are willing, or even have the desire to do it is something special. This makes it a very powerful moment in D/s for furthering trust. It isn't often that you get to share a secret that has never been shared before, there are actually very few things as intimate as sharing a secret like this, and being able to offer acceptance and understanding (even if it is agreed there will not be acted on) is another extremely positive element.

I have already discussed how those subs that are into variants of objectification receive comfort and a sense of belonging from having things done to them beyond their control on their owner's whim. So it becomes understandable that being pissed on is just a continuation of this. I have also mentioned taboo.
I haven't mentioned 'fun' and being naughty, nor have I mentioned humiliation -- both could come into play depending on how you decide to play this game. This article is long enough already so I won't go into these subjects, nor will I go into nappy-play (diapers), catheters, public or outdoor pissing, voyeurism, pissing off balconies or making somebody act out being a stone fountain! I will just say that if you have ever seen any pee-play pornography... well, you know pornography is seldom a good blueprint.

It's perfectly natural
Finally, I propose that there is something very natural about this. The first time I role-played it, I went into it expecting to have to hold down my dinner. I came out of it feeling something very beautiful and incredibly intimate had happened (It was played very affectionately). I gave it a great deal of thought... somebody had mentioned that it was similar to a dog marking it's territory, but as the Alpha in the situation I really didn't feel this rung true and dismissed it. That is until one day my husband smacked the dog for pissing on the bathroom floor, and the dog responded by shitting in his bed.

Yes I know, this story isn't getting sexy, but I remembered that when we first adopted our cat she did the same thing, so I did some research into why dogs and cats do this, what I found was very interesting and I'm sure relevant, because the family pet is usually the most submissive in the household and they do this when they are feeling insecure.

Charles Darwin and Pee-Play
Why? Well, being submissive is a good evolutionary strategy. People tend to think of being submissive as being the weakest, but rather than pushing you to the margins of the group where it can get dangerous, it brings you right up close to the Alpha. After all it is the Alpha you are submissive too. And while in proximity there is the greater chance of mating with the Alpha. As Alpha's often tend to get usurped, and if not killed, then pushed out of the group, you could actually argue that a sub has the best seat in the house, because when this happens, the sub stays where they are becoming submissive to the new Alpha.

It is at this point that it probably pays for the sub to smell like the new Alpha and not like the old Alpha.
Or... if the new Alpha smells like the sub, it would serve much the same purpose. It might be nice if the sub could get the Alpha to 'mark' him/her, but the sub has very little control over that. They can however piss where the Alpha sleeps and guarantee the Alpha smells like the sub.

What is the advantage of this again? Well assuming that the main threat is not outside predators but usurpers either within the group, or coming into the group, or from other groups, they they are going to want to pick their moment. Modern humans have hospitals, but otherwise an injury from a fight is likely to lead to death, so a usurper really does want to pick the fights they know they are going to win. Any uncertainty is going to put them off, so they are not going to pick on another that kinda smells a bit like the Alpha in case it is the Alpha. And if they are ready to pick on the Alpha, their best chance is one-on-one, so if there is a little retinue of 5-6 that all smell like the Alpha this probably isn't your moment.

In short it does make some sense for subs to smell like their Alpha, and for Alphas to smell like their subs.

[Edit] You could actually describe this more literally with words like 'blending' or 'merging' their odours, which is interesting. Because if you can get a sub to open up and give voice to their urges, and really try to explain what they feel, several have told me that they want to melt-into and merge with their Domme. To lose their own identity and just become a part of their owner. I find the concept of 'identity' very important in D/s and of course in a less evolved form, before concepts like names, smell would have served that purpose.

I know what your thinking, humans don't have a sense of smell that good, especially men, Alpha or otherwise. This is true now... but if a man has to pee outdoors, he finds a tree or a post to pee against doesn't he? Why is that?

In summary, if there are born leaders, there are probably born followers. And it is quite likely that in both there are latent instincts to do things that once had more utility than they do in our current state of evolution. So if you find your sub pissing in your bed, give them a hug and roll around in it because they are probably feeling insecure.

Go on, give it a go!
No actually don't. The simple fact is that I have never suggested to anybody that they try it, and nobody has ever said, "Yeah, never thought about it but I'll try anything once". At least not as I remember.
The girls who are into this have a desire to do it, an urge to do it, it is something they have fantasized about. And usually I can spot them because this falls in with a whole set of other kinks and behaviors which act as indicators. And this is why I think it is an inherent behaviour found within some people of a certain personality type.

Naturalistic fallacy
One form of the Appeal to Nature goes as follows:- "This behaviour is natural; therefore, this behaviour is morally acceptable" which is something that occurred to me while writing this. And it occurs to me that once on the interwebs anyone could stumble upon this with a wide range of prejudices and inhibitions. I believe that there is something inherent and natural, even social about pee-play, but this is my explanation for it not my justification. I don't think it needs justifying as morally acceptable as it doesn't hurt anybody and isn't being forced onto anybody who doesn't already like being forced to do stuff within the context of BDSM. If you don't like it, I suggest you don't do it. And if you don't do it, don't knock it until you have tried it.

Health issues
Urine is waste product, it contains plenty of stuff for bacteria to thrive on. But it is the bacteria that is icky and stinky, not the urine which is sterile (unless you have some heath problems. Saliva would be a bigger risk and that doesn't stop us from kissing!). In regards to smell, if you haven't worked it out yet, fresh urine doesn't smell the same as old urine. I have been told that the smell of fresh can get a sub quite excited while the same person will gag at the smell of stale. Some people insist that drinking urine is good for you... for which there is absolutely no evidence. But it's certainly not harmful, in fact it is so sterile and an army nurse told me that you can use it to wash wounds with. It does contain your body's waste products and a lot of water. The more hydrated you are when you pee, and more flushed out your system, the more dilute the waste is.

Cheers! Down the hatch!
For the record, it tastes just like water but with a bitter-metallic after-taste. Yes I have tasted it -- I would never ask a sub to do something I wouldn't do myself. That doesn't mean I have done everything I ask them to do, but I would if pushed. And in this case I thought I should have some experience. But drinking it is not actually necessary, certainly not obligatory... in fact it it might be a completely unrelated urge.

Oh shit!
Scat on the other hand probably is very much related... in case it crossed your mind. But we all have limits and... I don't want to think about it.

Give me a tinkle
If you have any comments, please feel free to make your views known. Unless it's about scat, I don't want to think about it.


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