Thursday, 5 July 2012

Dangerous people! (and how to guard against them).

I'm sure we have seen on the news about on-line pedophile rings, and how there are dozens of them worldwide, and how they get children to do stuff... and more recently how they get women to play along and do their bidding.

I have always wondered about this. I don't wonder how they groom women  to end up doing despicable things they wouldn't have dreamed of at the beginning. Thats actually no great mystery, they use people's natural commitment to consistency, to lead them in, they normalize, they allow them to justify... it's pretty much how cults work.

No, what I always wondered is how these pedophiles find each other? They can't exactly advertise it openly. I doubt there is some form of secret handshake either, or handkerchief in the back pocket. Any such signal or sign would soon be known. They must just be able to spot each other maybe? No, that makes no sense, if you could spot a pedophile we could develop a test.

So I always wondered how they meet and find each other because during my time on the internet I have seen very little which is suspicious.

I need wonder no more!

I had a very creepy conversation with somebody the other day, they started talking to me, and the conversation strayed into RL stuff... and frankly, the conversation stayed completely kosher, because I am completely kosher. But it could have so easily have gone bad. It ended up with me getting a load of "What would you do in my situation" type questions. If I had said, "You know, thats kinda hot" instead of "Oh poor you, you can't allow that", I strongly suspect they would have agreed.

...but I could be wrong. And thats the fucking point! Taken on face value, it was a completely innocent conversation!

I never take things at face value, I always look for a subtext. I'm good at it, it's why I can be a Domme and in this case I assume the worst and I strongly suspect that I was being probed by a pedophile.

But there is NOTHING for me to hang this on. The person concerned could completely deny it. If fact, they don't have to even completely deny it... they could say, "So what? I was fishing for roleplay. I have incest fantasies, I was too embarrassed to mention it straight out".

It's true... incest fantasy is extremely common, as is rape fantasy, mother/daughter, father/son... just look how many groups there are with names like, Legal Teens for Older Men, Young Sluts for Cougars, Filthy School Girls... yadda, yadda, yadda. Not to mention Adult Baby sitting services and a whole grey area which is near the knuckle (which is the point) but essentially harmless.

So what was different about this?

Firstly it was purely talking about Real Life. Secondly, If I'm right about them,  I don't think they wanted anything from me except a confederate. They were not trying to groom be to be their victim, they were testing me to see if I was like them!

That is the really scary part. I could freak out, question why they picked on me, wonder if I give off a pedophile vibe, but I won't. The simple fact is that I'm a Mommy Domme. At the time I was in a place where I was showing out as a Domme for older and younger people into BDSM. So if a nonce is going go fishing anywhere...

What is scary is that pedophiles are predators. And I was never in any danger of being prey. They were testing me to see if I was like they are. If that is how they talk to a Domme, how do they talk to subs? This person was kinda smart, charming, humble, open, I could see how they could with enough time, be very manipulative.

It's worrying, but frankly there is nothing I can do. All I have is, "That person gives me a bad vibe, I would treat them with caution". And saying that makes me look bad, as I found out earlier.

So there is no dilemma, I'm powerless. Short of going in undercover, possibly for months... there is nothing I can do but walk away and try and forget about it.

...there is just one thing I can do, that is remind you that there are nasty people out there. You have to be careful.

How do you be careful? How about 'never give them your personal information so they can't find you', how about simple rules like that?

No, thats no good!

I'll tell you why, firstly because relying on rules like that give you a false sense of security, especially as finding where you live is not what they are after. You are guarding against the wrong thing. And besides, if you have ever seen somebody like Darren Brown, you will realize that it is easy enough to trick people into giving them little parts of the puzzle over time.

What you really need to guard against is being slowly sucked in. You may think you are too smart for that... but actually, it is the dumb people who are harder to sucker. Smart principled people are far better easier to manipulate, and they are far better at making up excuses for themselves.

Yeah really! It's why cults are full of smart people.

But what cults also do is cut people off from their families and friends. This is because friends and family are normal and grounded in reality. They are a stark contrast the craziness. They don't even need to tell you you are being a loony, they stand as an example.

There is safety in numbers. Have one, two maybe even three friends that you tell everything to. Listen to their judgment because they won't be there getting suckered in with you, they won't hear all the smooth talk. But they will take an overview and tell you you are being crazy.

If you don't have friends you can talk to, imagine you do. Imagine I'm your friend, (if you are reading this I probably am). Would you be comfortable confiding in me what you just did... without explanation or justification or excuses? If you straight up told me what you just did, would I tell you you are crazy or sick?

I like to play into RL and I ask girls to do some pretty outrageous things, I even do a few outrageous things myself... but nobody gets hurt, and  I ensure everybody stays safe and legal. More importantly, even though I keep my girl's secrets, they don't have to. They can tell whoever they like, I'm proud of what I do. Would I be happy saying what I do into a group chat? Sure.

***

This doesn't deserve a separate blog post ~ if you come up to me and tell me that smoking is bad for my health... seriously, what kind of reaction are you expecting. Do you think I will laugh and hug you?

Expect me to take an instant dislike to you.