Pet

Walking the puppy

Zero-4

I decided a while ago that I want my girls to start keeping something like a slave diary. I think diaries are a bit hard work, but when I have told one of my girls what's what, I want them to write it down and make it permanent and public.

I have been busy recently and so have my girls, so although I thought of this about a month ago it has been slow progress getting this up and running. But I'm pleased to say that my #04 girl has made a good start.

You can take a look here. Please take a look because I'm so proud of this. I own her body and her soul, I know and she knows it, and this little website is my way of showing off my possession, and giving her the opportunity to show just how much I own her completely.

I love it, it's a work in progress that I can tune and tweak, and keep adding to. It is early days yet but already I think it's beautiful.

This is why I come here. This kind of thing makes it all worth while. Sometimes I find myself talking to a Domme who is in the scene in the real world and I feel like a bit of a fraud, like what I'm doing is all make-believe. But this makes it real, it makes me feel like an owner. This makes me feel like a Domme... it excites me and makes me want to keep on going.

I'm so proud of this.

Note to self

She is the object of my affection.

I love her, I adore her, I put her on a pedistal.
I miss her when she isn't there, and get a warm feeling when she is with me.
I am amazed by her tallents, I'm happy when she is creating, it makes me proud.
When she tells me about her vocation, I'm proud she makes the world a better place,
I feel lucky to have such a wonderful warm, loving person give themself to me.
Her interlect and wit thrill me. I am filled with pride to see her standing tall.

And she is a filthy little slut.
A dirty, whorish, arse licking, piss drinker. A reprehensable cunt.

And I love her all the same.
I love her when she is crawling like a dog.
I love her when she is smeared in her own filth.

My gift to her is accept her in her entirity,
to let her be the slut she is,
encourage her to roam free in her depravity.
And protect her while she is there.

This is my gift. My unconditional love, unbreakable and unshockable.
Freedom to be herself with me, protected from the scorn of society.

And thats why I own her. It's because I deserve her.
I deserve her because I want her. I am happy to take it all,
the sweet angel and the filthy whore.
The bitch, the victim, the brat, the reprograde, accepted gratefully,
shared, enjoyed, kept secret and guarded with my life.

***

I wrote this because I have to keep reminding myself why I do this and what makes me a Domme rather than just a lover or a friend. I'm a nice person, I like fairness, I'm egalitarian, and I'm not a sadist or abusive by nature. I try hard to treat people with consideration... sometimes it's hard to remember to consider they might like some abuse and to be treated as a slut and slave.

I'm done with sissies

If you are a sissy, the answer is 'No, I will not be your friend'.

It's nothing personal, you are probably a lovely guy... but I'm prejudiced.

The word prejudice means to pre-judge, and based on past experience it makes complete sense for me to assume that if you are a sissy you will follow this pattern of of behaviour:-

1. Beg me to be their Mistress.
2. Ask to be friends anyway.
3. Beg me to be your Mistress and hang around as if I was.
4. Sulk.
5. Drop hints that your want me to be your Mistress.
6. Sulk some more.
7. Ask me what I would do with you if I were their Mistress.
6. Drop more hints that your want me to be their Mistress.
8. Ask me to set you some tasks.
9. Not do the tasks, presumably because the tasks weren't sexual in nature.
10. Ask me repeatedly why I don't take sissies.
11. Sulk.
12. Ask me If I can help find a Mistress.
13. Pester me for more tasks.
14. Ask my advice on finding a Mistress.
15. Ingnore my advice.
16. Ask me if I have friends that might be a Mistress.
17. Ask me to describe in detail what I do with my girls.
18. Whine and complain.
19. Make bitchy comments.
20. Ask me repeatedly why I don't take sissies.
21. Offer excuses when I offer suggestions about how to find a mistress.

22. Then either ignore me when it becomes apparent I will never be their Mistress, or throw a hissy fit.

On past experience, sissies seem incapable of being friends. They are just trying to get a foot in the door, they use you without offering anything in return. They are completely pathetic, moody, lacking in humour and a complete waste of space. They also tend toward bitterness, paranoia and a persecution complex. They are relentless in their pestering, their demands and they drag me down.

...and they wonder why they can't find a Mistress?

Oh sure, there are exceptions. I have known Dominant sissies that are great, I know cross dressers and transgendered who are not really sissies and play women, no problem. But if I play the odds, I'm not going to allow sissies into my Second Life.

I'm playing the odds, so don't blame me, blame all the other sissies that have acted like complete cunts.

I'll add one more thing ~ I do like men! But I'm not here for men. If I was here for men, I'd be interested in men that act like men, not men who what to dress in pink frilly stuff and act pathetic. I find nothing remotely attractive about sissies.

So please, don't even try. And if you are wondering why you can't find a Mistress, read my words and ask yourself if it applies to you.



I am aware of the irony in this. I have previously complained about the fact that most women looking for a Mistress are actually men. I don't actually have any problem with with men pretending to be women (so long as they don't try to take me for a ride), it's okay if they do a decent job of acting like women because I like women as a rule. But sissies act like pathetic men. I dislike pathetic people of any gender.

Pee-Play ~ You know it makes sense!

At last, an interesting subject... water sports! Yes I'm going to give my opinions about girls who piss on each other. For many it is a limit, but in my experience, it is par-for-the-course with the kind of girls that I adore.

Vicky Porn
Somebody was telling me how they enjoyed my blogs and said they had seen the pictures (long pause).

I told her that the photos serve many purposes. For example, they show that women of all shapes and sizes can be beautiful, sexy and attractive. They also show examples of many fetishes, they show they are nothing too unusual, nothing to be afraid of, that they can also be beautiful, fun, and erotic. This includes Pee-Play.

I did think about showing you an example of such a photo in this post... but I would much prefer you go looking for yourself, you will find many amazing images on the journey.

So the person I was talking to said that she supposed it was okay, apart from the smell. I had to point out that the kind of girl who likes it usually has a thing for armpits, feet, fresh sweat, and smells in general and likes the odour (as long as it is fresh and not too strong - drink plenty of water if you are trying this at home kids).

I continued by saying the smell was rather the point of the whole thing, it is what explains it. And of all fetishes this was perhaps the the most natural and easiest to explain. Hence the title of this entry, it can be made sense of.

If I'm going to explain it, I may as well do it here.

Kink leads to emotions
I try to understand all fetishes, which generally boil down to how they make the person engaged in them feel. In the circles in which I move, which is with dolls, statues, mannequins and various objectification fetishes, there is a feeling of safety and security, belonging, being needed, which leads to esteem... essentially you can work your way up the Maslow's hierarchy.

[Oh yeah, some would nag me to say, it isn't a fetish or a kink, it is a lifestyle. I would say, 'Cobblers!'. Lifestyle and kink aren't mutually exclusive. The same kinds of motivations apply, even in fandom which is far harder to rationalize.]

And within the exact same group of fetishes, depending on how you play it, you can also have the same excitement you get from loss of inhibition that you get from other forms of D/s, because the sub isn't in control.

This part  involves emotion in a more obvious way, it isn't hard to imagine the sense of freedom coupled with a little bit of fear... but as it turns out, all that other good stuff involves emotions too. In recent years scientists have measured brain activity in people doing various tasks and it turns out things like 'certainty' are actually  emotions. So a feeling of security isn't just an absence of negative feelings, it is actually something positive which gives you a real feeling, which some people crave far more than mere sexual thrill.

Emotive language and trigger words 
Obviously, I seek and I attract certain kinds of girls so I see this often. But I would be remiss if I didn't mention the thrill of pushing limits and breaking taboos. As a Mommy Domme, it's not unusual for girls to want to call me 'Mommy' or 'Mamma'. There is no age-play involved, and  no overt incest-play, I'm sure of this because I'm the one in control, I know where things are going... yet I get a thrill being called 'Mommy', probably because it is slightly taboo. But is that all? There was an experiment (which I can't be bothered to find and cite) which was designed to measure the influence of positive and negative emotions on decision making. The words used to induce the moods were 'lung cancer' and 'Mother's love' -- the result of the experiment were a significant influence. Although just words, they instantly tap into something very real and almost universal concepts, an unstoppable enemy and your most trusted ally.

It is very easy to imagine that using 'Mommy' is a powerful trigger for a whole set of emotions and natural feelings.

Breaking a Taboo
Which brings us around to pee-play. Why would anybody want to play with piss? The most obvious answer is that it is taboo. I'm sure there are those that do only do it because the taboo gives them a thrill when the thrill of other kinky things has faded. There is certainly a thrill from the taboo with everybody I know who has done it.

I suppose at this point I should remind readers that I am not really talking about doing this in SL by jumping on a pose ball and spraying particles. I am a remote Domme, I do set real life tasks with real life urine... I have had girls piss in a bucket, I have had them wet themselves in private and in public, drink pee, bathe in pee, sit talking to me for periods of time wearing pee soaked clothing. I must also add that I only do this with girls who have an interest in it. I should also probably admit that it isn't a particular kink of mine, but I really do share in the intimacy and enjoyment my girls get from  the experience.

I also should note that as this is remote, it has it's limitations and both parties take what they can get. Obviously there are different aspects to this in the fantasies of the sub. Either being made to pee, do things with their own pee. Or having the desire to be peed on. The latter is the most desired and is Role-Played, but only the former is practical in a remote domination relationship. So there is not point in me differentiating.

Dirty little secret
But long before actually doing anything SL or RL, the taboo element comes into play when the matter is discussed between sub and Domme. Because of the nature of the subject, the sub has often never discussed it with another living soul. Some of them have discussed it, and even RP'd it, but doing it RL is a whole other prospect, and the admission that they are willing, or even have the desire to do it is something special. This makes it a very powerful moment in D/s for furthering trust. It isn't often that you get to share a secret that has never been shared before, there are actually very few things as intimate as sharing a secret like this, and being able to offer acceptance and understanding (even if it is agreed there will not be acted on) is another extremely positive element.

I have already discussed how those subs that are into variants of objectification receive comfort and a sense of belonging from having things done to them beyond their control on their owner's whim. So it becomes understandable that being pissed on is just a continuation of this. I have also mentioned taboo.
I haven't mentioned 'fun' and being naughty, nor have I mentioned humiliation -- both could come into play depending on how you decide to play this game. This article is long enough already so I won't go into these subjects, nor will I go into nappy-play (diapers), catheters, public or outdoor pissing, voyeurism, pissing off balconies or making somebody act out being a stone fountain! I will just say that if you have ever seen any pee-play pornography... well, you know pornography is seldom a good blueprint.

It's perfectly natural
Finally, I propose that there is something very natural about this. The first time I role-played it, I went into it expecting to have to hold down my dinner. I came out of it feeling something very beautiful and incredibly intimate had happened (It was played very affectionately). I gave it a great deal of thought... somebody had mentioned that it was similar to a dog marking it's territory, but as the Alpha in the situation I really didn't feel this rung true and dismissed it. That is until one day my husband smacked the dog for pissing on the bathroom floor, and the dog responded by shitting in his bed.

Yes I know, this story isn't getting sexy, but I remembered that when we first adopted our cat she did the same thing, so I did some research into why dogs and cats do this, what I found was very interesting and I'm sure relevant, because the family pet is usually the most submissive in the household and they do this when they are feeling insecure.

Charles Darwin and Pee-Play
Why? Well, being submissive is a good evolutionary strategy. People tend to think of being submissive as being the weakest, but rather than pushing you to the margins of the group where it can get dangerous, it brings you right up close to the Alpha. After all it is the Alpha you are submissive too. And while in proximity there is the greater chance of mating with the Alpha. As Alpha's often tend to get usurped, and if not killed, then pushed out of the group, you could actually argue that a sub has the best seat in the house, because when this happens, the sub stays where they are becoming submissive to the new Alpha.

It is at this point that it probably pays for the sub to smell like the new Alpha and not like the old Alpha.
Or... if the new Alpha smells like the sub, it would serve much the same purpose. It might be nice if the sub could get the Alpha to 'mark' him/her, but the sub has very little control over that. They can however piss where the Alpha sleeps and guarantee the Alpha smells like the sub.

What is the advantage of this again? Well assuming that the main threat is not outside predators but usurpers either within the group, or coming into the group, or from other groups, they they are going to want to pick their moment. Modern humans have hospitals, but otherwise an injury from a fight is likely to lead to death, so a usurper really does want to pick the fights they know they are going to win. Any uncertainty is going to put them off, so they are not going to pick on another that kinda smells a bit like the Alpha in case it is the Alpha. And if they are ready to pick on the Alpha, their best chance is one-on-one, so if there is a little retinue of 5-6 that all smell like the Alpha this probably isn't your moment.

In short it does make some sense for subs to smell like their Alpha, and for Alphas to smell like their subs.

[Edit] You could actually describe this more literally with words like 'blending' or 'merging' their odours, which is interesting. Because if you can get a sub to open up and give voice to their urges, and really try to explain what they feel, several have told me that they want to melt-into and merge with their Domme. To lose their own identity and just become a part of their owner. I find the concept of 'identity' very important in D/s and of course in a less evolved form, before concepts like names, smell would have served that purpose.

I know what your thinking, humans don't have a sense of smell that good, especially men, Alpha or otherwise. This is true now... but if a man has to pee outdoors, he finds a tree or a post to pee against doesn't he? Why is that?

In summary, if there are born leaders, there are probably born followers. And it is quite likely that in both there are latent instincts to do things that once had more utility than they do in our current state of evolution. So if you find your sub pissing in your bed, give them a hug and roll around in it because they are probably feeling insecure.

Go on, give it a go!
No actually don't. The simple fact is that I have never suggested to anybody that they try it, and nobody has ever said, "Yeah, never thought about it but I'll try anything once". At least not as I remember.
The girls who are into this have a desire to do it, an urge to do it, it is something they have fantasized about. And usually I can spot them because this falls in with a whole set of other kinks and behaviors which act as indicators. And this is why I think it is an inherent behaviour found within some people of a certain personality type.

Naturalistic fallacy
One form of the Appeal to Nature goes as follows:- "This behaviour is natural; therefore, this behaviour is morally acceptable" which is something that occurred to me while writing this. And it occurs to me that once on the interwebs anyone could stumble upon this with a wide range of prejudices and inhibitions. I believe that there is something inherent and natural, even social about pee-play, but this is my explanation for it not my justification. I don't think it needs justifying as morally acceptable as it doesn't hurt anybody and isn't being forced onto anybody who doesn't already like being forced to do stuff within the context of BDSM. If you don't like it, I suggest you don't do it. And if you don't do it, don't knock it until you have tried it.

Health issues
Urine is waste product, it contains plenty of stuff for bacteria to thrive on. But it is the bacteria that is icky and stinky, not the urine which is sterile (unless you have some heath problems. Saliva would be a bigger risk and that doesn't stop us from kissing!). In regards to smell, if you haven't worked it out yet, fresh urine doesn't smell the same as old urine. I have been told that the smell of fresh can get a sub quite excited while the same person will gag at the smell of stale. Some people insist that drinking urine is good for you... for which there is absolutely no evidence. But it's certainly not harmful, in fact it is so sterile and an army nurse told me that you can use it to wash wounds with. It does contain your body's waste products and a lot of water. The more hydrated you are when you pee, and more flushed out your system, the more dilute the waste is.

Cheers! Down the hatch!
For the record, it tastes just like water but with a bitter-metallic after-taste. Yes I have tasted it -- I would never ask a sub to do something I wouldn't do myself. That doesn't mean I have done everything I ask them to do, but I would if pushed. And in this case I thought I should have some experience. But drinking it is not actually necessary, certainly not obligatory... in fact it it might be a completely unrelated urge.

Oh shit!
Scat on the other hand probably is very much related... in case it crossed your mind. But we all have limits and... I don't want to think about it.

Give me a tinkle
If you have any comments, please feel free to make your views known. Unless it's about scat, I don't want to think about it.


tgp

Marionette

The Reluctant Doll

Nina Susser - "I have been a bad doll"

Felina Moonwall

I couldn't resit. I kidnapped her and dressed her up.

This is what she looked like before, all her own work. Absolutely lovely.

Special

Some guys really know how to make you feel special:

i dont suppose your into meets?
well just i have a fantasy, Id love to pay a woman for sex..
i dont suppose your interested?

Adorable!

The Misadventures of Lita Morane

Music to Domme by

I know whats good for you, I know you are dying to, you can touch me if you want.



Garbage ~ Queer

Garbage inspired outfits

Naughty, naugty boy!

Dollycogs

I'm starting a new blog called Dollycogs for all things doll related including this photo manipulation which is of my feet with doll joints photoshopped on.  Please take a look.

Greedy Piggy

Who's a greedy piggy?

Turns out I am..What a weekend. Not only did I adopt Never, but Ditsy Nomnom came back to me too.

And just when I thought my Second Life was was full and complete, Hanna (Gertrude) shows up just as Kovu is inviting me to a party at my house. So I find myself in need of a maid just as we are talking about latex piggy outfits!

Gertie serves drinks

As Vicky takes to the stage

Latex piggy on the Burlesque chair

Just a few friends in The Velvet Crush, But a good night.

Zorn and Cy

Kuvo and Cherry

Vicky takes a break from the burlesque

Gertie the Latex Piggy

What a lovely squeeky rear!

Truffle Shuffle

Cyrus gives Zo a Lapdance

Foxy arrives, Cherry takes the stage

A pro dancer! Cherry

Foxy adopts latex to put on a show

Foxy Natsuki looking adorabubble, with arsenic behind her.

Foxy in latex

Foxy out of latex

Poppy refuses to make snacks, Zo does the burlesque

Kovo gives Cherry a lap dance

I think... we must do this again, every Sunday night. And my basement now seems to have a name!

Thank you all, I'm so lucky to have such great people as friends. It's just a pity some of my favourite people couldn't make it. But I'm certain there will be a 'next time'.

Oh and I need to add, Thank you Hanna (Gurtie). You were the star of the show, everybody said you made the evening, and even though you had to leave, you set the tone. You are awesome and I love you loads.

Italian seduction techniques

[16:47:15] Toni A: hi
[16:47:21] Vinny Caramel: hi
[16:47:48] Toni A: how are you
[16:48:22] Vinny Caramel: ok thanks
[16:48:40] Toni A: where are you from
[16:49:20] Vinny Caramel: England
[16:49:31] Toni A: i'm italian
[16:50:02] Vinny Caramel: i guessed that
[16:50:13] Toni A: want me
[16:50:47] Vinny Caramel: I'm not even slightly interested, thats why it says 'no Italians' in my profile.

...and it does say it in my profile. "I don't kiss men, ever. No exceptions, not even for Italians. 1♀♀% lesbica!!!"

What is it with Italians? I think it's because their Mommy tells them they are god's gift to women, and the morons actually believe it. They certainly don't put in any effort, this idiot is 547 days old, yet seems to have learned nothing. Oh well, at least this one didn't throw a tantrum when he was rejected... i guess he is used to rejection.

I'm a hater

Yes I'm a hater and proud of it. Given the choice, 'hater' is not the word I would use, but it's the label given out by those hippy types who believe that you should mind your own business and 'live and let live'.

Worse still, these  fuzzy-thinking, bed-wetters seem to hold the view that because every arse hole is entitled to an opinion, all opinions are equally valid.

It's this whole business of 'teaching both sides of the controversy' when there is no controversy, and the bat-shit rantings of a loony in a tin-foil hat are given equal credence as the expert opinions of a climatologist or an evolutionary biologist. It's becoming a problem the world over.

Everybody is entitled to an opinion, and they are entitled to their freedom of speech, and the rest of us are entitled to call them on their bullshit. Do you remember the story of the Emperor's new clothes? You wouldn't if the little boy had kept his mouth shut for fear of being called a 'hater', just like all the other bozos.

One of the reasons I have a dominant and assertive personality is that I have principles and strong core values from which I could never be moved apart from by critical thought. I also give a fuck about what I see going on around me. So there is no way I'm going to be silenced by an Internet meme.

***

I read something interesting the other day, something like, "Go to a mush, get involved with your local BDSM community, they tend not to tolerate the idiots and they get weeded out very quickly". Of course, because they are a community, unlike what we find on the internet where they culture is to do your own thing and don't mind other people's business.

Weeding out idiots, the criminal, the dangerous and those that don't share their values, is what communities do.

Any 'D' who has been at this a while must have noticed that a fair number of subs are vulnerable. You'll find subs that are taking medication for depression/anxiety, many that have been in abusive relationships (physical or emotional). There are those that have suffered sexual abuse as adults or children. I have even run across those that struggle with substance abuse. And just as in any group of people, there are a few who are just naive and easily lead into trouble. And many will readily confess they have little confidence and low self esteem.
I can't even begin to guess what sort of percentage of subs/bottoms could be classed as vulnerable -- maybe I attract them but in my experience it is almost half, and friends also inform me that's it's not uncommon.

Personally I'm not the type to get too upset over stuff that happens on the Internet, let alone in role-play, but I know many are. For me, I suppose, it's live-and-learn, school of hard knocks.

...but what about when a dum-dom wants to take things into real life? Do you stand by and say nothing? Apparently most people do.

Suppose you see somebody who starts their profile by saying they are an asshole or evil, ends by telling you they aren't stupid, and in-between seems to do everything in their ability to prove that they ARE stupid and know nothing of D/s... what do you do?

It's not really cause for drastic action, they are probably just a harmless idiot right?

But what if their profile shows they have a preoccupation with bestiality, or hints at age-play, and they are openly looking for financial domination and blackmail?

If you can't see there is a recipe for disaster here... you may have a seriously self destructive streak. I lose count of the times I have said in my head, "What the fuck were you thinking?".

The credo is 'Safe, Sane and Consensual', and when we talk about consent, we of course mean 'informed consent'. You can't give your consent unless you are fully informed about what you are getting into -- due diligence is required. If I ask questions I'm just helping with that. Sane is often taken to mean knowing the difference between fantasy and reality, so I tend to pick on people who are asking for RL interaction yet seem to have both feet on a cloud. But lets not rule out that some people are insane or dangerously insane. And I tend to pick up on people who want to engage in activities which by their very nature are unsafe. And lets not kid ourselves, some paraphilias are clear indicators that a person isn't that interested in consent.

In good conscience, would you really recommend to a sub that they willingly allowed them self to be blackmailed by somebody who doesn't know the difference between punctuation and punctuality? Who is interested in bestiality and rape fantasy, and who fills their profile full of paranoid rantings and threats.

Every now and again, I can't hold my tongue and just have to challenge somebody who posts in a group, usually I challenge them on something in their profile. I don't want to get into a slagging match, as it's not productive. But I will ask questions, let the target speak and with their own words show what fools they are. Often I can only respond with contempt wrapped in sarcasm. When I see 3-4 red flags in one profile, is it so wrong to draw attention to it?

Last time I did this, can you guess what happened? A Domme jumped in with the live-and-let-live defense and a shit-load of excuses, a Dom decided to turn into as pissing contest between him and me, and several subs also chipped in with abuse directed at me, one attempting to spam/troll/grief me in the most childish manner via IMs.

Don't get me wrong... I'm not upset that 4-5 people would gang up on me, I love a good fight and you better believe I held my own. And I'm not upset that people would call me on what's written in my profile or what I say in chat -- I welcome it. It makes me look good because I am an expert at being me, but I don't pretend to be an expert D/s, BDSM or even being a Domme*. And I don't want to be the policeman of the BDSM community, nor am I  trying to be. The community should be self policing.

This really isn't about me, in fact I know I'm not alone in my thoughts. I know a few good people who feel the same way, and I have run across several people who have been jumped on when they express their opinions publicly.

I don't believe you need to be an expert to act like a good citizen. I also believe you should stand up for  what you know is right, and stand up and be counted when it comes to protecting your community and the people in it.

What upsets me is that people would be so stupid as to think that keeping the peace and stomping out drama takes precedent over all else.

In the example I cited above, sure one Dom obviously wanted to score points off me for his own aggrandizement, he also scored points off the person I was targeting. But all the others jumped in with the intent to silence me. To label me a 'hater' and trouble maker. Keeping in mind I entered into this with caution, asking questions (albeit sarcastic questions) and not outright accusations statements of fact, which frankly, I feel would have been justified. I am certain such an approach would have been met with even greater hostility.

I'm not asking for a crusade. But as there seem to have been a number of groups that have sprung up that have discussion meetings, I do hope this whole topic will become the subject of a discussion.

***

I just remembered...

On a couple of occasions I have taken issue with people which has led to an exchange in local chat. In one example I can think of I was dealing with somebody who had a very real contempt for women; not just common sexism, but something bordering on hatred.

I was told by a couple of people to take it to IMs. That they saw no reason why I couldn't have my fight privately and spare everyone the drama.

I guess this is the 'secrecy' that Swan mentions in one of her recent posts.

When I see a red flag, a clear warning sign, I feel I should make sure everybody else sees it too and is aware of the danger. There is no way I'm going to take it to IMs and help these arseholes to hide their warning flags. Because thats their modus operandi and exactly how they want it.

If they had wanted everybody to know, they would have insulted and attacked me in local in the first place. But they know their behavior is anti-social and damn-right wrong in any context, but they think they can get away with it because it is kept private. And yes, we are talking about men who have sent me unsolicited messages designed to insult, belittle, harass and bully.

Bullies are fairly easy to deal with, they are by their very nature weak and pathetic. It's the self righteous twats, who think they are doing us all a favour by keeping the peace... the kind of people who cry 'Hater' or say, "Take it to IMs" who are the ones who have caused parts of SL to descend into a cesspool.

* Disclaimer - I do not presume to educate people about BDSM, D/s, Roleplay, sexual health or anything else! I don't have nearly enough experience to speak with any authority on these matters. I am quite happy to allow people to do what they want to do, content with the fact that often I just don't get it.
However I do have plenty of life experience and I can recognize 'mad, bad and/or sad' when I see it. This is what I tend to call people on.
I am fairly certain that other people who have touched on this subject feel that if they were able to speak freely, they could educate -- I have no objection to that and would welcome it regarding matters on which there were consensus, and which prompted debate. I think it would be great...

...but right now I want to head off any accusations of, "Who the fuck are you to tell us how it should be done?". I don't lecture anybody how it should be done, but you should be prepared to justify what you do... or not. If you aren't prepared to answer questions from me, then maybe you should go and ask them of yourself.

Definition of insanity

I'm told, that doing the same thing again and again, and expecting different results, is the very definition of insanity.

So to keep copy/pasting the same thing into multiple group chats, again and again, day after day, week after week...

If it were ever going to work, it would have worked by now and you would be up to your armpits in Dom/mes/subs/cash. The fact that you aren't is proof that your advert doesn't work. And now after having seen it 30 times, it also proves that you are unoriginal, lack imagination, lazy, and not very smart.

You are also being annoying.

Masters and other animals

I was lucky enough to be approached today by that rarest of animals, a Master. For the longest of time I have pondered the question, what is the difference between a regular Dom and a Master, because they seem to think there is an important distinction, although nobody has been able to tell me what it is.

So for educational purposes, I'll print the conversation here so that we might study. Names changed to protect the ignorant.

-- Instant message logging enabled --
[09:17:15] Sir D####: hello
[09:17:45] Vinny Caramel: Hello dear
[09:18:00] Sir D####: how you
[09:18:11] Vinny Caramel: Fine
[09:18:23] Sir D####: are you a slave
[09:19:01] Vinny Caramel: You are very perceptive. What gave me away?
[09:19:40] Sir D####: you just look like the slave type
[09:20:29] Sir D####: step over here so we can talk
[09:20:45] Vinny Caramel: Oh, well you have certainly mastered your environment. You must be a top hunter of slaves.
[09:21:35] Sir D####: i just know what to look for
[09:22:06] Vinny Caramel: Oh! BlacOpal! I have that suit. It looks better on me.
[09:22:56] Vinny Caramel: You AVI doesn't seem to be working.
[09:23:08] Vinny Caramel: The AO is off
[09:23:10] Sir D####: come to me
[09:23:57] Vinny Caramel: What all the way out there? But the real Doms stand right at the centre, over here where I am.
[09:24:38] Sir D####: read this
[09:25:09] Vinny Caramel: Thanks, I'll take a look at it later.
[09:25:22] Sir D####: ok
[09:26:08] Vinny Caramel: Is it all your own work or is a standard copy/pasta sort of set of rules?
[09:26:29] Sir D####: my work
[09:29:37] Vinny Caramel: It says in your profile that you are Master. What marks you out as a master rather than a regular Dom?
[09:30:35] Vinny Caramel: It's ok, take your time.
[09:30:35] Sir D####: join me and find out
[09:32:07] Vinny Caramel: Maybe, but right now, I'm not really feeling it, dominated or anything.
[09:34:50] Vinny Caramel: Now your rules (#11) say, "We love all of you equally." -- Right now I'[m not feeling the love. When does that part happen?
[09:35:47] Vinny Caramel: And #12 says I must start as a slave. Don't you think I'm a bit too 'top draw' to just be a slave?
[09:40:12] Sir D####: yes
[09:45:07] Vinny Caramel: Oh! a friendship request! But can't you do something to impress me? Take control of the situation? Dominate the conversation maybe?
[09:46:23] Sir D####: i order you to friend me now
[09:46:42] Sir D####: and to come to me that is an order
[09:49:46] Vinny Caramel: This is how a Master does it is it?
[09:50:00] Vinny Caramel: I'm learning a lot already! :)
[09:50:41] Sir D####: i guess you dont want this so i guess i leave you alone
[09:50:43] Vinny Caramel: I think I pressed the wrong button. Send it again.
[09:51:28] Vinny Caramel: Don't go. I'd love to know the difference between a Master and a regular Dom.

I have studied this in depth, but as yet I can't fathom why this technique doesn't seem to be having an effect on me... or indeed where the technique actually is. Come to think of it, I don't think he was wearing his belt buckle.

There may be more clues in the two notecards sent, The contract:-

Binding Contract for ### (keep one copy for future reference)
1. You will treat ( Sir D### , Lady C### , and mistress h### ) with respect in order to get respect. When you see me or the mistresses you must kneel.
2. You will treat the other pets in the group with respect and they will show you respect.
3. You must never take the collar off unless you have my permission.
4. You never change or take your shape off with out permission from ( Sir D### , Lady C### , and mistress h### ).
5. You are not allowed to add anyone to your collar. ( Sir D### , Lady C### , and mistress h### )are the only ones who can do that.
6. You will wear whatever ( Sir D### , Lady C### , and mistress h### ) have you to wear . You have no say so over your clothes. Only ( Sir D### , Lady C### , and mistress h### ) do.
7. You have to obey ( Sir D### , Lady C### , and mistress h### ) at all times. You must listen to all orders and commands from ( Sir D### , Lady C### , and mistress h### ). You do what ( Sir D### , Lady C### , and mistress h### )say, when we say , how we tell you, wherever we tell you to do it at.
8.If you are in RLV with your master you must ask permission to do whatever you need to do ex. inventory, maps , attachments, cloths, talk sit/stand. we will have these locked.
9. You cant be in RLV with anyone else as long as you are owned, protected and collared by us.
10. The mistresses are to be obeyed like the master.
11. Jealousy is not allowed, We love all of you equally. There will be no fighting or arguing amongst the group even among the mistresses and master. we have final say in these issues. When we are dealing with another pet, you will sit quietly and wait till you are spoken to
12 all must start as a slave. If you wish to move up to a new level in the group you will have to work and earn it.
13. All members will include this group in their picks.
14 You can expect to experience loss of freedom as you will not be permitted to wander outside of the castle unaccompanied until you have been transformed into a slave we can be proud of.
15. We will train your mind into accepting that you are the best slave and your only happiness is ensuring our satisfaction with you.
16. Master and Madame retain their right to rent you out for a definite period of time.
17. must inform master ,and mistresses of being afk ,brbs ect.....
18.no one is not allowed to come in the bedroom unless (master d###,madame c###,or mistress h###) brings you invite you to the bedroom
Do all of the above and you will grow in the group.
If you can not follow these rules, you do not belong here.
We expect you to give us your all, heart , body,shape,mind, and soul.

Sir D###
Lady C###
mistress h###

And the Training notes:-

Rules and tasks for slaves

you will be trained on all aspects of submission

: you will need to be able to dance , lapdance, oral, anal and vanilla sex, girl on girl, boy on boy, 3some etc
: you will need to be prepared to sit and wait
: to be tied up and tortured
: to be left alone for long periods
: you will need to be able to work your own collar , to be able to put yourself in the correct pose at the right time
: to do chores
: to know how to enter and leave a room
: to me a maid
: to serve food and drink
: to address other dominants
: to serve other dominants sexually

On the face of it, who would not yield? And yet...

Will you take this worthless slut?

Some Rambling Advice for New Subs. (and some not-so-new ones)

"Will you take this worthless slut to use and abuse?"

I have the best clothes, the best house, the best furniture, the best cars, and if I ever get around to it, the best yacht. I like to look good and be surrounded by the very best.

So why would I want a worthless slut? I don't want anything thats worthless, I'm after a prize.

I want a sub I can be proud of, who makes me look good.

If you go touting yourself as a worthless tart, I'm sure there will be some worthless piece of shit wannabe Dom who will have you, and that may be your thing. But it's not going to get a foot in the door with me or any of the dominant people I have any respect for.

OK, so it's only roleplay. I get it, in fact I fully understand why you want to be abused and treated like fuck-meat. I also understand why a Dom would want that... worth thinking about those motivations.



"I beg you, take this boy Goddess, I will worship you!"

I don't take boys, but even if I did, for fucks sake have some self respect. If you want to be a sniveling little worm, expect to have to pay real money for it.

I'm not a professional, I'm not in it for the money, I'm in it for me. If I wanted to humiliate a boy, I'd go break a Dom, I wouldn't want somebody who has no self respect to begin with.

There's no kudos, no challenge in being able to Domme a loser. Be a man!

"I have no limits, you can do anything you want to me!"

Oh really? I'll call bullshit on that.

But even if it were true, why would you think that having no limits were a desirable feature?

What should I surmise about somebody who claims to have no limits? If you have been roleplaying this stuff for that long that you need to be impaled while a dog shits in your mouth in order to get off, then maybe it's time to get a new hobby. Maybe you should try some RL BDSM? And if you really have no limits in RL, maybe you should get your head examined.

Once again, maybe you can find somebody who wants to RP that stuff with you, but it won't be me. I'm far more likely to want to defile a virgin than even think about your prolapsed colon.

(As a side note, it's been my experience that when girls have rather extreme fantasies, they are usually just desperate for attention and affection. Once they have had a cuddle or two, any thoughts of being raped to a bloody pulp by robots tend to fade away. And they start to become needy and clingy. This isn't very desirable either.)

More dumb behavior.

I lose count of how many times in the average day I am asked if I take boys, or if I'm a sub.

It says in my profile multiple times, that I don't take boys. So anybody who asks me hasn't bothered to read my profile. And is therefore a moron. Why wouldn't you read somebody's profile before contacting them? You have to be a moron right? Would I be interested in a moron?

(I would be interested in somebody who wants to please me, takes the time to find out what would please me, will go the extra mile, put in the effort. Not somebody who can't be bothered to read a profile).

And if you ask me if I'm a sub, I'll assume you are just taking the piss.

I'm often approached by people, mostly men, who ask if I would take them, more-or-less in the first few lines.

Why should I when they haven't said anything remotely interesting? Maybe the information in their profile will blow me away? Maybe it is filled with such original thought, such wit and humour, such warmth and charm... what are the chances?

Sadly it hasn't happened yet.

How to do it.

Firstly fill out your profile avoiding any of the clichés in my previous article.

Tell the world about yourself. Don't tell us you are funny and witty, if you need to tell people that you most likely aren't. Instead tell us your values (without whining about back-stabbers, threatening anybody who tries to hurt you, and generally behaving like a victim). Tell us what you do appreciate and value rather than telling us what you hate.

Go through your groups, display the ones that say something about you, hide the ones that don't. If you fill your groups full of designer labels, be prepared to have people assume you are a ponce.

Turn your Pics into a shrine to your friends only if you want people to think you are a fluffy headed drama queen who will spend most of their time distracted by IMs about mittens on kittens.

If you are going to use your pics for the intended purpose of showing us your favorite places, then don't use the default text, write your own blurb, tell us why you like the place. Believe it or not, a Domme might actually like you to take her to your favorite Jazz club.

And an invitation to a Jazz club would be a far better approach than, "Do you like to fuck Miss?".

Yes believe it or not, there are idiots who will try and open a conversation with lines like that. This short article really isn't likely to be read by them. There are some things you should be able to learn just by being alive, and if you think that kind of approach is going to mark you out as a keeper, you obviously don't take that much interest in the world around.

You know what? This may be Second Life, but just like real life, certain things are attractive, and some things are a real turn off. In the real world, I am far more likely to be attracted to somebody if they are good-looking and well turned out.  In Second Life, even the best looking AVI isn't going to make me swoon, but that is no reason not to make an effort, it's reason to try even harder.

We are told not to judge people by appearance, but it's something we as a species are programed to do. While it's not foolproof, it's a fairly reliable method 99% of the time, which is why we do it.

Here's a clue for you. Never once have I heard a woman say, "He's so hot with that huge upper bod, tiny head and walnut coloured skin".

However I have heard girls comment that a man is really cute because he well proportioned, realistic, wears cool clothes and has a unique look.

The good, the bad and the ugly.

Eye-Sore Vs Eye-Candy

There about a zillion reasons why it pays to at least make an effort to look  good in SL, the first is that is shows you made an effort. If you have at least done some shopping it shows that you are prepared to spend some time in SL rather than just turning up for half an hour before bedtime to have a wank. It means you are not lazy, have some imagination and some pride in what you do.

Let me put it another way... what kind of RolePlay should we expect from somebody who is lazy, has no imagination, no pride in what they do, and only here for some one handed typing?

And if you actually think Bling the bling will impress us, you will probably think that riding a pose ball while typing 'Ohhh, ahhh', constitutes emoting.

Besides, if you put in a bit of effort with your appearance, others might do too and take the time to give you some help.

Ready for the approach

So now your AVI looks okay, your profile looks okay, you may even get some Dommes/doms to IM you. Although I wouldn't count on it, most like you to go to them. So how do you open a conversation.

When you say, "Hi", it will be assumed that you will next say, "how are you", followed by, "how has your day been?". My first thought is, "Here we go again".

I know, instead, why don't you say something like, "Hello Ma'am, I love your shoes". Oh no, we are wise to that one too! You need to be more original than that although you are on the right track. Open a conversation with something *about* the person you are talking to. Maybe you could ask them a question, thats always a good way to engage somebody.

But where do you start when you know nothing about that person? Ah! you could check their profile for information! You could find something in there that makes you wonder, and ask them about it.

And now you know why profiles are so important. Of course, if you are checking somebody out and their profile is devoid of any useful information at all... infuriating isn't it?

And for the record, asking a Domme to describe what she does to her subs isn't having a conversation, it's trying to get your jollies for free. I can only speak for myself, but I consider it insulting, firstly that you would try and use me, secondly that you think I'm dumb enough to fall for it.