Trolling fail

-- Instant message logging enabled --
[10:00:06] Miss Christel (christel7): seen your site; sorry yuo are fat and i hate that
[10:00:24] Miss Christel (christel7): ugly as welll
[10:00:28] Miss Christel (christel7): ejoy sl
[10:01:03] Vinny Caramel: haha
[10:01:21] Miss Christel (christel7): get lost fat jady you look horrible
[10:01:29] Miss Christel (christel7): muted ugly woman

I suppose I brought it on myself posting that I am done with Sissies. I suspect I'll now get abuse from random female impersonators from time-to-time... at least that is the only reason I can think of for this ill-thought-out attempt at trolling me. Unless it's jealousy, or an attempt at Domme Breaking?

Anyway, I post it here for your amusement.

I'm done with sissies

If you are a sissy, the answer is 'No, I will not be your friend'.

It's nothing personal, you are probably a lovely guy... but I'm prejudiced.

The word prejudice means to pre-judge, and based on past experience it makes complete sense for me to assume that if you are a sissy you will follow this pattern of of behaviour:-

1. Beg me to be their Mistress.
2. Ask to be friends anyway.
3. Beg me to be your Mistress and hang around as if I was.
4. Sulk.
5. Drop hints that your want me to be your Mistress.
6. Sulk some more.
7. Ask me what I would do with you if I were their Mistress.
6. Drop more hints that your want me to be their Mistress.
8. Ask me to set you some tasks.
9. Not do the tasks, presumably because the tasks weren't sexual in nature.
10. Ask me repeatedly why I don't take sissies.
11. Sulk.
12. Ask me If I can help find a Mistress.
13. Pester me for more tasks.
14. Ask my advice on finding a Mistress.
15. Ingnore my advice.
16. Ask me if I have friends that might be a Mistress.
17. Ask me to describe in detail what I do with my girls.
18. Whine and complain.
19. Make bitchy comments.
20. Ask me repeatedly why I don't take sissies.
21. Offer excuses when I offer suggestions about how to find a mistress.

22. Then either ignore me when it becomes apparent I will never be their Mistress, or throw a hissy fit.

On past experience, sissies seem incapable of being friends. They are just trying to get a foot in the door, they use you without offering anything in return. They are completely pathetic, moody, lacking in humour and a complete waste of space. They also tend toward bitterness, paranoia and a persecution complex. They are relentless in their pestering, their demands and they drag me down.

...and they wonder why they can't find a Mistress?

Oh sure, there are exceptions. I have known Dominant sissies that are great, I know cross dressers and transgendered who are not really sissies and play women, no problem. But if I play the odds, I'm not going to allow sissies into my Second Life.

I'm playing the odds, so don't blame me, blame all the other sissies that have acted like complete cunts.

I'll add one more thing ~ I do like men! But I'm not here for men. If I was here for men, I'd be interested in men that act like men, not men who what to dress in pink frilly stuff and act pathetic. I find nothing remotely attractive about sissies.

So please, don't even try. And if you are wondering why you can't find a Mistress, read my words and ask yourself if it applies to you.



I am aware of the irony in this. I have previously complained about the fact that most women looking for a Mistress are actually men. I don't actually have any problem with with men pretending to be women (so long as they don't try to take me for a ride), it's okay if they do a decent job of acting like women because I like women as a rule. But sissies act like pathetic men. I dislike pathetic people of any gender.

Definition: Christianity

Cool story bro!

...the belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.



(Feel free to ask me about 'Framing', 'Availability Heuristic' and other tricks used to get sane people to believe batshit crazy nonsense.)

Special

Some guys really know how to make you feel special:

i dont suppose your into meets?
well just i have a fantasy, Id love to pay a woman for sex..
i dont suppose your interested?

Feeding the trolls

[14:37:56] HE: What's up bitches?
[14:38:20] Vinny Caramel: Not much cunt face.
[14:41:04] HE: yeah?
[14:41:04] HE: same here. ned odo some reading andwritng soon
[14:42:21] Vinny Caramel: Yeah, looks like you need the practice.

Queer Arse Juice

a gay?

I have something interesting to say...

I have something interesting to say...

HOOOoooOOOoOOooo!!!
Hoooo!
~~~~WEEEEEE!!~~~~
 ::::::: I ❤ THIS T U N E ! ! ! ::::::: HOoOoOUlalalala :)  
Hooo!! Hooo!! Hooo!!
Hoooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!
˜*•. ˜*•.•*˜ .•*˜
˜*•. ˜”*°•.˜”*°•.•°*”˜.•°*”˜ .•*˜
•°~°•~ AWESOME SONG •°~°•~  
.•*˜ .•°*”˜.•°*”˜”*°•.˜”*°•. ˜*•.
.•*˜ .•*˜*•. ˜*•. 

HOOOoooOOOoOOooo!!!
Hoooo!
~~~~WEEEEEE!!~~~~
HooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo !!!!!!
~~~~WEEEEEE!!~~~~
HooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo !!!!!!
Hooo!! Hooo!! Hooo!!
Hoooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!
♪♪♪♪♪ OmG I LoVe ThIs FuCkInG SoNg!!!!♪♪♪♪♪
HooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo !!!!!!
HooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo !!!!!!
 ○
○ .--._.--. °
° ( O O )
Bud / . . \
.`._______.'. Weis
/ ( ) \
err _/ \ \ / / \_
 .~I ` \ \ / / ' I~.
{ -. \ V / . - }
__`. \ | | | / .' _ _
 >_ _} | | | {_ _<
 /. - ~ ,_-' .^. `-_, ~ - .\
' - '|/ \|` - `
:¦:-.:* LMAO!! *:.-:¦:-
HooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo !!!!!!
HooooOO!
HOOOOooooo!!!
::: ╠╣ΟΟΟ!!! :::
~~~~WEEEEEE!!~~~~
Hooo!! Hooo!! Hooo!!
Hoooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!
♪♪♪♪♪ OmG I LoVe ThIs FuCkInG SoNg!!!!♪♪♪♪♪
✰'``'*:-.,_,.-:*'``'*:-.,✰ 
 *•.¸('*•.¸♥¸.•*´)¸.•*
☊ GAGA is mah SHIT!!! ☊
¸.•*(¸.•*´ ♥ `*•.¸)`*•.¸
✰'``'*:-.,_,.-:*'``'*:-.,✰ 
HooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo !!!!!!
 HooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo !!!!!!
 ::::::: I ❤ THIS T U N E ! ! ! ::::::: HOoOoOUlalalala :)
*•.¸('*•.¸♥¸.•*´)¸.•*
PARTYALARM 
 ¸.•*(¸.•*´ ♥ `*•.¸)`*•.¸  
HOOOoooOOOoOOooo!!!
Hoooo!
Hooo!! Hooo!! Hooo!!
Hoooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!
::: ╠╣ΟΟΟ!!! :::
 I NOW PRONOUNCE IT IS
¸ .• * ´♥`* • .¸  
 • ↑ •
 .' ¦ '.
▏ ☻ --- → ▏
'. .'
 '• P A R T Y • '
T I M E
::: ╠╣ΟΟΟ!!! :::
::: ╠╣ΟΟΟ!!! :::
::: ╠╣ΟΟΟ!!! :::
 *~*GET THOSE FRIENDS TO PARTY WITH YOU !!!!! *~*
HooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo !!!!!!
HOOOoooOOOoOOooo!!!
Hoooo!
HooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo !!!!!!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 I think that makes my point. But if you don't get the point, then you are the fucking moron I took you for in the first place. 










Hoooo!

Italian seduction techniques

[16:47:15] Toni A: hi
[16:47:21] Vinny Caramel: hi
[16:47:48] Toni A: how are you
[16:48:22] Vinny Caramel: ok thanks
[16:48:40] Toni A: where are you from
[16:49:20] Vinny Caramel: England
[16:49:31] Toni A: i'm italian
[16:50:02] Vinny Caramel: i guessed that
[16:50:13] Toni A: want me
[16:50:47] Vinny Caramel: I'm not even slightly interested, thats why it says 'no Italians' in my profile.

...and it does say it in my profile. "I don't kiss men, ever. No exceptions, not even for Italians. 1♀♀% lesbica!!!"

What is it with Italians? I think it's because their Mommy tells them they are god's gift to women, and the morons actually believe it. They certainly don't put in any effort, this idiot is 547 days old, yet seems to have learned nothing. Oh well, at least this one didn't throw a tantrum when he was rejected... i guess he is used to rejection.

Steep Learnig Curve

JJ - Spanish male, clueless


[10:23:34] JJ: judge u by.....?
[10:23:37] JJ: : tell me
[10:23:38] JJ: : :)
[10:23:50] Vinny Caramel: eh?
[10:24:08] JJ: : tell me abot you
[10:24:56] JJ: : english?
[10:25:01] Vinny Caramel: Yes
[10:25:18] JJ: : what you do n sl
[10:25:47] Vinny Caramel: I have written lots on my profile and blog so that I don't have to keep explaining myself.
[10:26:02] JJ: : ok
[10:26:05] JJ: : :)
[10:26:11] JJ: : pretty straight
[10:26:47] Vinny Caramel: Nope, I'm not straight.... I'm a gay.
[10:27:39] JJ: : a gay?


[10:31:32] JJ: ok
[10:32:58] JJ: you comming for a walk






*

I couldn't resit!

I'm a hater

Yes I'm a hater and proud of it. Given the choice, 'hater' is not the word I would use, but it's the label given out by those hippy types who believe that you should mind your own business and 'live and let live'.

Worse still, these  fuzzy-thinking, bed-wetters seem to hold the view that because every arse hole is entitled to an opinion, all opinions are equally valid.

It's this whole business of 'teaching both sides of the controversy' when there is no controversy, and the bat-shit rantings of a loony in a tin-foil hat are given equal credence as the expert opinions of a climatologist or an evolutionary biologist. It's becoming a problem the world over.

Everybody is entitled to an opinion, and they are entitled to their freedom of speech, and the rest of us are entitled to call them on their bullshit. Do you remember the story of the Emperor's new clothes? You wouldn't if the little boy had kept his mouth shut for fear of being called a 'hater', just like all the other bozos.

One of the reasons I have a dominant and assertive personality is that I have principles and strong core values from which I could never be moved apart from by critical thought. I also give a fuck about what I see going on around me. So there is no way I'm going to be silenced by an Internet meme.

***

I read something interesting the other day, something like, "Go to a mush, get involved with your local BDSM community, they tend not to tolerate the idiots and they get weeded out very quickly". Of course, because they are a community, unlike what we find on the internet where they culture is to do your own thing and don't mind other people's business.

Weeding out idiots, the criminal, the dangerous and those that don't share their values, is what communities do.

Any 'D' who has been at this a while must have noticed that a fair number of subs are vulnerable. You'll find subs that are taking medication for depression/anxiety, many that have been in abusive relationships (physical or emotional). There are those that have suffered sexual abuse as adults or children. I have even run across those that struggle with substance abuse. And just as in any group of people, there are a few who are just naive and easily lead into trouble. And many will readily confess they have little confidence and low self esteem.
I can't even begin to guess what sort of percentage of subs/bottoms could be classed as vulnerable -- maybe I attract them but in my experience it is almost half, and friends also inform me that's it's not uncommon.

Personally I'm not the type to get too upset over stuff that happens on the Internet, let alone in role-play, but I know many are. For me, I suppose, it's live-and-learn, school of hard knocks.

...but what about when a dum-dom wants to take things into real life? Do you stand by and say nothing? Apparently most people do.

Suppose you see somebody who starts their profile by saying they are an asshole or evil, ends by telling you they aren't stupid, and in-between seems to do everything in their ability to prove that they ARE stupid and know nothing of D/s... what do you do?

It's not really cause for drastic action, they are probably just a harmless idiot right?

But what if their profile shows they have a preoccupation with bestiality, or hints at age-play, and they are openly looking for financial domination and blackmail?

If you can't see there is a recipe for disaster here... you may have a seriously self destructive streak. I lose count of the times I have said in my head, "What the fuck were you thinking?".

The credo is 'Safe, Sane and Consensual', and when we talk about consent, we of course mean 'informed consent'. You can't give your consent unless you are fully informed about what you are getting into -- due diligence is required. If I ask questions I'm just helping with that. Sane is often taken to mean knowing the difference between fantasy and reality, so I tend to pick on people who are asking for RL interaction yet seem to have both feet on a cloud. But lets not rule out that some people are insane or dangerously insane. And I tend to pick up on people who want to engage in activities which by their very nature are unsafe. And lets not kid ourselves, some paraphilias are clear indicators that a person isn't that interested in consent.

In good conscience, would you really recommend to a sub that they willingly allowed them self to be blackmailed by somebody who doesn't know the difference between punctuation and punctuality? Who is interested in bestiality and rape fantasy, and who fills their profile full of paranoid rantings and threats.

Every now and again, I can't hold my tongue and just have to challenge somebody who posts in a group, usually I challenge them on something in their profile. I don't want to get into a slagging match, as it's not productive. But I will ask questions, let the target speak and with their own words show what fools they are. Often I can only respond with contempt wrapped in sarcasm. When I see 3-4 red flags in one profile, is it so wrong to draw attention to it?

Last time I did this, can you guess what happened? A Domme jumped in with the live-and-let-live defense and a shit-load of excuses, a Dom decided to turn into as pissing contest between him and me, and several subs also chipped in with abuse directed at me, one attempting to spam/troll/grief me in the most childish manner via IMs.

Don't get me wrong... I'm not upset that 4-5 people would gang up on me, I love a good fight and you better believe I held my own. And I'm not upset that people would call me on what's written in my profile or what I say in chat -- I welcome it. It makes me look good because I am an expert at being me, but I don't pretend to be an expert D/s, BDSM or even being a Domme*. And I don't want to be the policeman of the BDSM community, nor am I  trying to be. The community should be self policing.

This really isn't about me, in fact I know I'm not alone in my thoughts. I know a few good people who feel the same way, and I have run across several people who have been jumped on when they express their opinions publicly.

I don't believe you need to be an expert to act like a good citizen. I also believe you should stand up for  what you know is right, and stand up and be counted when it comes to protecting your community and the people in it.

What upsets me is that people would be so stupid as to think that keeping the peace and stomping out drama takes precedent over all else.

In the example I cited above, sure one Dom obviously wanted to score points off me for his own aggrandizement, he also scored points off the person I was targeting. But all the others jumped in with the intent to silence me. To label me a 'hater' and trouble maker. Keeping in mind I entered into this with caution, asking questions (albeit sarcastic questions) and not outright accusations statements of fact, which frankly, I feel would have been justified. I am certain such an approach would have been met with even greater hostility.

I'm not asking for a crusade. But as there seem to have been a number of groups that have sprung up that have discussion meetings, I do hope this whole topic will become the subject of a discussion.

***

I just remembered...

On a couple of occasions I have taken issue with people which has led to an exchange in local chat. In one example I can think of I was dealing with somebody who had a very real contempt for women; not just common sexism, but something bordering on hatred.

I was told by a couple of people to take it to IMs. That they saw no reason why I couldn't have my fight privately and spare everyone the drama.

I guess this is the 'secrecy' that Swan mentions in one of her recent posts.

When I see a red flag, a clear warning sign, I feel I should make sure everybody else sees it too and is aware of the danger. There is no way I'm going to take it to IMs and help these arseholes to hide their warning flags. Because thats their modus operandi and exactly how they want it.

If they had wanted everybody to know, they would have insulted and attacked me in local in the first place. But they know their behavior is anti-social and damn-right wrong in any context, but they think they can get away with it because it is kept private. And yes, we are talking about men who have sent me unsolicited messages designed to insult, belittle, harass and bully.

Bullies are fairly easy to deal with, they are by their very nature weak and pathetic. It's the self righteous twats, who think they are doing us all a favour by keeping the peace... the kind of people who cry 'Hater' or say, "Take it to IMs" who are the ones who have caused parts of SL to descend into a cesspool.

* Disclaimer - I do not presume to educate people about BDSM, D/s, Roleplay, sexual health or anything else! I don't have nearly enough experience to speak with any authority on these matters. I am quite happy to allow people to do what they want to do, content with the fact that often I just don't get it.
However I do have plenty of life experience and I can recognize 'mad, bad and/or sad' when I see it. This is what I tend to call people on.
I am fairly certain that other people who have touched on this subject feel that if they were able to speak freely, they could educate -- I have no objection to that and would welcome it regarding matters on which there were consensus, and which prompted debate. I think it would be great...

...but right now I want to head off any accusations of, "Who the fuck are you to tell us how it should be done?". I don't lecture anybody how it should be done, but you should be prepared to justify what you do... or not. If you aren't prepared to answer questions from me, then maybe you should go and ask them of yourself.

Pick-up Artist

[12:09:26] HH: hello Vicky?
[12:09:50] HH: do you like smoking?
[12:09:51] Vinny Caramel: Hello
[12:10:06] Vinny Caramel: Yes, thats why i do it.
[12:10:26] HH: but the nicotine taste bad
[12:10:44] HH: like kissing an ashtray
[12:11:06] Vinny Caramel: Well.... don't worry, you won't be kissing me.
[12:11:19] HH: yes but others might
[12:11:38] HH: and you have to pay sin taxes
[12:11:58] HH: taxes you won't have to pay if you quit today
[12:12:09] HH: I am a poet
[12:12:17] Vinny Caramel: No such thing as 'sin', it's a religious concept. Religion is for morons.
[12:12:21] HH: you would never know it
[12:13:07] Vinny Caramel: As you have seen fit to give me a lecture on smoking, how about i give you a lecture on religion?
[12:13:07] HH: that.s pretty good
[12:13:41] HH: outspoken and direct
[12:14:34] HH: you don't have to teach me religeon, our ministyer did that already
[12:15:09] HH: used me as a weathervane as i only then go to church on a rainy day
[12:15:56] HH: sorry for the typos
[12:16:13] HH: I still type with 2 fingers only
[12:16:26] HH: you must use all 12?
[12:16:50] Vinny Caramel: Thats an insult?
[12:17:21] HH: no insult intended
[12:18:07] HH: I just want ed to save you from lung cancer
[12:18:31] HH: and wrinkles
[12:19:15] Vinny Caramel: So you accuse me of being a sinner and a mutant? You really are a charmless nerk aren't you?
[12:20:34] HH: I am just trying to save your life no shame in that
[12:21:06] Vinny Caramel: If I were you, I'd worry about getting your own life
[12:21:16] HH: don't know what a nerk is...have to google
[12:22:04] Vinny Caramel: http://oxforddictionaries.com/definition/nerk
[12:22:36] HH: thanks you are so helpful
[12:24:30] HH: that does not fit, I am the greatest with one foot in my mouth

Another Dum-dom

Did you ever hear of the Golden Crocoduck awards? There should be something similar for Dum-doms...
Anyway, here is a contender.


From his profile:-

I take my responsability as a way to live showing respect and willing.

Real power comes when you don't even need it..

When all you need is understad, respect and protect your loved ones without expecting anything in exchange.

[09:40:50] Lord Sime : Hello Vicky. I saw you into BDSM RL submissionc.
[09:40:57] Lord Sime : Contact me when you have time.
[09:41:06] Vinny Caramel: I have time
[09:41:43] Lord Sime : Good come and meet me. [Sends TP]
[09:42:50] Vinny Caramel: I'm quite comfortable where I am thanks.
[09:43:16] Lord Sime : I am not askign for your stupidopinion
[09:43:23] Lord Sime : I am the one making decitions here
[09:43:32] Lord Sime : but anyway you are not that sub as i need.
[09:43:36] Lord Sime : bye freaky sub
[09:43:43] Lord Sime : muted

Is anybody else noticing a correlation between illiteracy and ineptitude?

I would suggest that he begin his education by trying to gain mastery over his own profile info by getting himself a good spell-checker. But in this case a dictionary would be better, then he could look up the meaning of some of the words.

A mediocre Master tells,
a good Master teaches,
an excellent Master explains,
but a True Master inspires
                  -- Anonymous

Masters and other animals

I was lucky enough to be approached today by that rarest of animals, a Master. For the longest of time I have pondered the question, what is the difference between a regular Dom and a Master, because they seem to think there is an important distinction, although nobody has been able to tell me what it is.

So for educational purposes, I'll print the conversation here so that we might study. Names changed to protect the ignorant.

-- Instant message logging enabled --
[09:17:15] Sir D####: hello
[09:17:45] Vinny Caramel: Hello dear
[09:18:00] Sir D####: how you
[09:18:11] Vinny Caramel: Fine
[09:18:23] Sir D####: are you a slave
[09:19:01] Vinny Caramel: You are very perceptive. What gave me away?
[09:19:40] Sir D####: you just look like the slave type
[09:20:29] Sir D####: step over here so we can talk
[09:20:45] Vinny Caramel: Oh, well you have certainly mastered your environment. You must be a top hunter of slaves.
[09:21:35] Sir D####: i just know what to look for
[09:22:06] Vinny Caramel: Oh! BlacOpal! I have that suit. It looks better on me.
[09:22:56] Vinny Caramel: You AVI doesn't seem to be working.
[09:23:08] Vinny Caramel: The AO is off
[09:23:10] Sir D####: come to me
[09:23:57] Vinny Caramel: What all the way out there? But the real Doms stand right at the centre, over here where I am.
[09:24:38] Sir D####: read this
[09:25:09] Vinny Caramel: Thanks, I'll take a look at it later.
[09:25:22] Sir D####: ok
[09:26:08] Vinny Caramel: Is it all your own work or is a standard copy/pasta sort of set of rules?
[09:26:29] Sir D####: my work
[09:29:37] Vinny Caramel: It says in your profile that you are Master. What marks you out as a master rather than a regular Dom?
[09:30:35] Vinny Caramel: It's ok, take your time.
[09:30:35] Sir D####: join me and find out
[09:32:07] Vinny Caramel: Maybe, but right now, I'm not really feeling it, dominated or anything.
[09:34:50] Vinny Caramel: Now your rules (#11) say, "We love all of you equally." -- Right now I'[m not feeling the love. When does that part happen?
[09:35:47] Vinny Caramel: And #12 says I must start as a slave. Don't you think I'm a bit too 'top draw' to just be a slave?
[09:40:12] Sir D####: yes
[09:45:07] Vinny Caramel: Oh! a friendship request! But can't you do something to impress me? Take control of the situation? Dominate the conversation maybe?
[09:46:23] Sir D####: i order you to friend me now
[09:46:42] Sir D####: and to come to me that is an order
[09:49:46] Vinny Caramel: This is how a Master does it is it?
[09:50:00] Vinny Caramel: I'm learning a lot already! :)
[09:50:41] Sir D####: i guess you dont want this so i guess i leave you alone
[09:50:43] Vinny Caramel: I think I pressed the wrong button. Send it again.
[09:51:28] Vinny Caramel: Don't go. I'd love to know the difference between a Master and a regular Dom.

I have studied this in depth, but as yet I can't fathom why this technique doesn't seem to be having an effect on me... or indeed where the technique actually is. Come to think of it, I don't think he was wearing his belt buckle.

There may be more clues in the two notecards sent, The contract:-

Binding Contract for ### (keep one copy for future reference)
1. You will treat ( Sir D### , Lady C### , and mistress h### ) with respect in order to get respect. When you see me or the mistresses you must kneel.
2. You will treat the other pets in the group with respect and they will show you respect.
3. You must never take the collar off unless you have my permission.
4. You never change or take your shape off with out permission from ( Sir D### , Lady C### , and mistress h### ).
5. You are not allowed to add anyone to your collar. ( Sir D### , Lady C### , and mistress h### )are the only ones who can do that.
6. You will wear whatever ( Sir D### , Lady C### , and mistress h### ) have you to wear . You have no say so over your clothes. Only ( Sir D### , Lady C### , and mistress h### ) do.
7. You have to obey ( Sir D### , Lady C### , and mistress h### ) at all times. You must listen to all orders and commands from ( Sir D### , Lady C### , and mistress h### ). You do what ( Sir D### , Lady C### , and mistress h### )say, when we say , how we tell you, wherever we tell you to do it at.
8.If you are in RLV with your master you must ask permission to do whatever you need to do ex. inventory, maps , attachments, cloths, talk sit/stand. we will have these locked.
9. You cant be in RLV with anyone else as long as you are owned, protected and collared by us.
10. The mistresses are to be obeyed like the master.
11. Jealousy is not allowed, We love all of you equally. There will be no fighting or arguing amongst the group even among the mistresses and master. we have final say in these issues. When we are dealing with another pet, you will sit quietly and wait till you are spoken to
12 all must start as a slave. If you wish to move up to a new level in the group you will have to work and earn it.
13. All members will include this group in their picks.
14 You can expect to experience loss of freedom as you will not be permitted to wander outside of the castle unaccompanied until you have been transformed into a slave we can be proud of.
15. We will train your mind into accepting that you are the best slave and your only happiness is ensuring our satisfaction with you.
16. Master and Madame retain their right to rent you out for a definite period of time.
17. must inform master ,and mistresses of being afk ,brbs ect.....
18.no one is not allowed to come in the bedroom unless (master d###,madame c###,or mistress h###) brings you invite you to the bedroom
Do all of the above and you will grow in the group.
If you can not follow these rules, you do not belong here.
We expect you to give us your all, heart , body,shape,mind, and soul.

Sir D###
Lady C###
mistress h###

And the Training notes:-

Rules and tasks for slaves

you will be trained on all aspects of submission

: you will need to be able to dance , lapdance, oral, anal and vanilla sex, girl on girl, boy on boy, 3some etc
: you will need to be prepared to sit and wait
: to be tied up and tortured
: to be left alone for long periods
: you will need to be able to work your own collar , to be able to put yourself in the correct pose at the right time
: to do chores
: to know how to enter and leave a room
: to me a maid
: to serve food and drink
: to address other dominants
: to serve other dominants sexually

On the face of it, who would not yield? And yet...

Will you take this worthless slut?

Some Rambling Advice for New Subs. (and some not-so-new ones)

"Will you take this worthless slut to use and abuse?"

I have the best clothes, the best house, the best furniture, the best cars, and if I ever get around to it, the best yacht. I like to look good and be surrounded by the very best.

So why would I want a worthless slut? I don't want anything thats worthless, I'm after a prize.

I want a sub I can be proud of, who makes me look good.

If you go touting yourself as a worthless tart, I'm sure there will be some worthless piece of shit wannabe Dom who will have you, and that may be your thing. But it's not going to get a foot in the door with me or any of the dominant people I have any respect for.

OK, so it's only roleplay. I get it, in fact I fully understand why you want to be abused and treated like fuck-meat. I also understand why a Dom would want that... worth thinking about those motivations.



"I beg you, take this boy Goddess, I will worship you!"

I don't take boys, but even if I did, for fucks sake have some self respect. If you want to be a sniveling little worm, expect to have to pay real money for it.

I'm not a professional, I'm not in it for the money, I'm in it for me. If I wanted to humiliate a boy, I'd go break a Dom, I wouldn't want somebody who has no self respect to begin with.

There's no kudos, no challenge in being able to Domme a loser. Be a man!

"I have no limits, you can do anything you want to me!"

Oh really? I'll call bullshit on that.

But even if it were true, why would you think that having no limits were a desirable feature?

What should I surmise about somebody who claims to have no limits? If you have been roleplaying this stuff for that long that you need to be impaled while a dog shits in your mouth in order to get off, then maybe it's time to get a new hobby. Maybe you should try some RL BDSM? And if you really have no limits in RL, maybe you should get your head examined.

Once again, maybe you can find somebody who wants to RP that stuff with you, but it won't be me. I'm far more likely to want to defile a virgin than even think about your prolapsed colon.

(As a side note, it's been my experience that when girls have rather extreme fantasies, they are usually just desperate for attention and affection. Once they have had a cuddle or two, any thoughts of being raped to a bloody pulp by robots tend to fade away. And they start to become needy and clingy. This isn't very desirable either.)

More dumb behavior.

I lose count of how many times in the average day I am asked if I take boys, or if I'm a sub.

It says in my profile multiple times, that I don't take boys. So anybody who asks me hasn't bothered to read my profile. And is therefore a moron. Why wouldn't you read somebody's profile before contacting them? You have to be a moron right? Would I be interested in a moron?

(I would be interested in somebody who wants to please me, takes the time to find out what would please me, will go the extra mile, put in the effort. Not somebody who can't be bothered to read a profile).

And if you ask me if I'm a sub, I'll assume you are just taking the piss.

I'm often approached by people, mostly men, who ask if I would take them, more-or-less in the first few lines.

Why should I when they haven't said anything remotely interesting? Maybe the information in their profile will blow me away? Maybe it is filled with such original thought, such wit and humour, such warmth and charm... what are the chances?

Sadly it hasn't happened yet.

How to do it.

Firstly fill out your profile avoiding any of the clichés in my previous article.

Tell the world about yourself. Don't tell us you are funny and witty, if you need to tell people that you most likely aren't. Instead tell us your values (without whining about back-stabbers, threatening anybody who tries to hurt you, and generally behaving like a victim). Tell us what you do appreciate and value rather than telling us what you hate.

Go through your groups, display the ones that say something about you, hide the ones that don't. If you fill your groups full of designer labels, be prepared to have people assume you are a ponce.

Turn your Pics into a shrine to your friends only if you want people to think you are a fluffy headed drama queen who will spend most of their time distracted by IMs about mittens on kittens.

If you are going to use your pics for the intended purpose of showing us your favorite places, then don't use the default text, write your own blurb, tell us why you like the place. Believe it or not, a Domme might actually like you to take her to your favorite Jazz club.

And an invitation to a Jazz club would be a far better approach than, "Do you like to fuck Miss?".

Yes believe it or not, there are idiots who will try and open a conversation with lines like that. This short article really isn't likely to be read by them. There are some things you should be able to learn just by being alive, and if you think that kind of approach is going to mark you out as a keeper, you obviously don't take that much interest in the world around.

You know what? This may be Second Life, but just like real life, certain things are attractive, and some things are a real turn off. In the real world, I am far more likely to be attracted to somebody if they are good-looking and well turned out.  In Second Life, even the best looking AVI isn't going to make me swoon, but that is no reason not to make an effort, it's reason to try even harder.

We are told not to judge people by appearance, but it's something we as a species are programed to do. While it's not foolproof, it's a fairly reliable method 99% of the time, which is why we do it.

Here's a clue for you. Never once have I heard a woman say, "He's so hot with that huge upper bod, tiny head and walnut coloured skin".

However I have heard girls comment that a man is really cute because he well proportioned, realistic, wears cool clothes and has a unique look.

The good, the bad and the ugly.

Eye-Sore Vs Eye-Candy

There about a zillion reasons why it pays to at least make an effort to look  good in SL, the first is that is shows you made an effort. If you have at least done some shopping it shows that you are prepared to spend some time in SL rather than just turning up for half an hour before bedtime to have a wank. It means you are not lazy, have some imagination and some pride in what you do.

Let me put it another way... what kind of RolePlay should we expect from somebody who is lazy, has no imagination, no pride in what they do, and only here for some one handed typing?

And if you actually think Bling the bling will impress us, you will probably think that riding a pose ball while typing 'Ohhh, ahhh', constitutes emoting.

Besides, if you put in a bit of effort with your appearance, others might do too and take the time to give you some help.

Ready for the approach

So now your AVI looks okay, your profile looks okay, you may even get some Dommes/doms to IM you. Although I wouldn't count on it, most like you to go to them. So how do you open a conversation.

When you say, "Hi", it will be assumed that you will next say, "how are you", followed by, "how has your day been?". My first thought is, "Here we go again".

I know, instead, why don't you say something like, "Hello Ma'am, I love your shoes". Oh no, we are wise to that one too! You need to be more original than that although you are on the right track. Open a conversation with something *about* the person you are talking to. Maybe you could ask them a question, thats always a good way to engage somebody.

But where do you start when you know nothing about that person? Ah! you could check their profile for information! You could find something in there that makes you wonder, and ask them about it.

And now you know why profiles are so important. Of course, if you are checking somebody out and their profile is devoid of any useful information at all... infuriating isn't it?

And for the record, asking a Domme to describe what she does to her subs isn't having a conversation, it's trying to get your jollies for free. I can only speak for myself, but I consider it insulting, firstly that you would try and use me, secondly that you think I'm dumb enough to fall for it.

Also spotted

Recently seen in a profile, an interesting false dichotomy:-

"im not a dom or a sub still undecided i think i will try both any volonteers? lol

oh n Im a dude other dude may not apply...UPDATE! THE SUB THING IS NOT 4 ME...I AM DOM"

Noted. Thanks for the warning.

***

"I'm from Sydney!"
In the absence of any other information,
I formed my own opinions about S###.

And here's another one with a blank profile:-

[06:45:43] S###: hi
[06:46:01] Vinny Caramel: Hello
[06:46:26] S###: umm would you like to take me as your slave
[06:46:48] Vinny Caramel: Why would I want to do that?
[06:47:10] S###: well iam a sub..and you make my knees go week for you
[06:48:02] Vinny Caramel: Ok, so now I know you are a sub. Anything else I should know before I leap into a decision?
[06:48:22] S###: lol
[06:48:30] S###: i thin thats it
[06:49:35] Vinny Caramel: Thats it? You don't want to give me anything to make me believe you are anything other than a complete moron?
[06:50:01] S###: wel iam from Sydney
[06:50:26] S###: and i wanted to be dominated by a woman all my life
[06:50:37] S###: so i thought SL would be the place
[06:51:22] Vinny Caramel: This may come as a shock, but there is a little more to it than that.

Somebody addressed me correctly!

It's taken about a year, but finally somebody got it right. It's amazing really, because there are more choices of  formal address that are acceptable, than those that aren't. So he's the list of what is okay:-

Vicky - because it's 2012 for fucks sake. Besides, I really don't need a title or want to be address formally.

Mrs Caramel - Because I'm married.

Ms Caramel - Because this is also a correct modern title which doesn't reference marital status.

M'am, Ma'am, or Madam - This is how you address a woman when you don't know what her status or title is.

Almost acceptable:-

Domina or Maîtresse - It kinda says what I am, but it's not all that I am.

Mommy - Get to know me first! Sums the whole thing up really, what you call someone when you have a relationship can be any of the above, or below. But not till you are in a relationship with them.

And here's what isn't acceptable:-

Mistress - Technically speaking it is correct. But in modern English has been superseded by  Miss, Ms Mrs. Can still be used for the head of a household or school. But in common usage the word usually means a kept woman, which I am not.

Miss - This is the formal address for children and young unmarried women. While male children earn the right to become a Mister at age 18, women aren't considered grown-up until they marry. If I was role playing a 25 year old school teacher, I might put up with it, but I don't. I don't find it insulting to be called Miss, I just think the person using it is ignorant.

Lady - I can be a gentlewoman and lady-like, but I never married a Duke. This is as dumb as calling yourself Princess.

Queen - of what? I do know a few queens, but...

Goddess - Oh for fucks sake, come on!



***

Regarding male titles, 'Master' is how you address a child, unless the person has some specific role, occupation or qualification. As far as I know, nobody is awarding accredited qualifications in BDSM, so the title can't be anything but pretentious.

The correct form of address would be Mister (Mr.) or Sir. But 'Sir' shouldn't be used as a prefix to the name, unless Sir happens to have a knighthood. Nor is he likely to be a Lord, or a Baron and if he is calling himself something like Dungeon Master, he is definitely a complete knob.

Guide to Profiles

If you are looking for good ideas for things to put in your Second Life profiles page, this ain't it!
It's a brief guide to the unoriginal stuff you find in profiles and some possible meanings:-


I love to have fun = I lack the imagination to write anything fun. Entertain me.

I'm here for the fun = I'm already fapping.

I'm far to complex to be summed up in 500 characters. If you want to know me, just IM me = There is nothing interesting about me I can fill this space with, oh god please talk to me!

SL=SL & RL=RL = I'm terrified of this stuff and if my husband ever found out he'd kill me. I feel dirty... so ashamed. It's okay, it's not real, it's just make believe. Deep breaths.

My RL is none of your business = I'm really a man.

No voice, no pics, no cam = I'm really a man.

No RP limits = I'm really a man and really desperate.

Sweet submissive girl = I'm really a man, I raided my wife's knicker draw.

Respect must be earned...yadda, yadda, yadda = I usually get walked all over and my fragile ego often causes me pain.

A true friend... yadda, yadda, yadda = I usually get walked all over and my fragile ego often causes me pain. Plus I'm really needy.

I have been in SL longer than you might think = I can't bare to think that there are people that have been doing this longer than me. You ain't better than me!

I'm being myself. If you don't like that you can fuck off = I'm an obnoxious brat who pisses everybody off.

I don't care what you think of me = I do really, but I can't help myself, I'm going to act like a cunt soon enough. It's just a matter of time.

Devoted to my partner for 4 years = When they aren't around I'm at Slut Street. They suspect I'm cheating, and is stupid enough to think that if I fill my profile full of devotion it will make me stop. Obviously I prefer my women blond.

I'm sapiosexual = All the cool kids are and I don't want to be left out.

Over 6 years experience in RP = I can't say anything in less than a paragraph. I could bore an arse-hole in a wooden horse.

Drama free zone = I cause drama.

I'm not stupid = Everybody treats me like I'm stupid... because I'm as dumb as an Southern Baptist.

I mute fools = Fools tend to outsmart me. But if I mute them then they can badmouth me all they want in local and I won't even know! Ha! Who's laughing now eh?

A woman is only truly free when at the feet of a man = I have tried everything to get laid but I'm hopeless, this BDSM stuff has got to be worth a shot. Amirite?

If you want to know about me, talk to me = I finally figured out that I was really dumb for leaving my profile blank. Maybe this will work?

I'm a bitch = Wish I was a bitch but I lack the wit.

Downloading 1st life info... 97%  = I don't have a sense of humour but assume that those who do find this funny because so many people have it in their profiles - A million people can't be wrong!

I don't bite... hard! = I don't have a sense of humour but assume that those who do find this funny because so many people have it in their profiles - A million people can't be wrong!

[Blank Profile] = It's better to let people think there is absolutely nothing interesting about me, than write something and prove it. Move along, nothing to see here.

[Poetry] = If I had any thoughts of my own, I would be unable to express them. Poetry might make me look deep, smart and cultured.

[Bible quotes] = Ain't poetry for smart folks?

[Song lyrics] = I'm too lazy to pick up a book.

[Unreadable shite made up of symbols] = If I write some... like crap yeah? And like and make it like, unreadable to grown-ups... it will be like, really awesome and shit in'it. Solid.

***

You may notice that people seldom speak at the Bondage Ranch and similar places. It's a meat market. People look at profiles to see if they can find anyone interesting. If like me, you are often there in a text browser, profiles and profile pictures are all you have to go on.

 I wrote my profile to scare away time wasters.  It is the nature of subs that they like someone dominant to make the first move, but I generally don't unless I see somebody really special. Even so, I may be approached a dozen times a day (depending on how I dress my AVI). If I have to ask to find out who and what you are, and what you want, and I'm doing this several times a day, it seriously eats into my good will.

Men of the world

American Men

An American: hi
Vicky Caramel: Hi
An American: how r u
Vicky Caramel: i R gr8
An American: good!
Vicky Caramel: Glad it makes you happy.
An American: would you be interested in this boy Miss?
Vicky Caramel: Interested? I looked at your profile... it's blank. Nothing interesting there at all.
An American: im very obedient Miss
Vicky Caramel: Did you read my profile?
An American: no Miss.
Vicky Caramel: Well?
An American: i don't read profiles, I prefer to have good conversations
Vicky Caramel: Conversation? You got to be kidding!


***

German Men

A German: Hi
Vicky Caramel: Hi
A German: How are you?
Vicky Caramel: I am fine thank you.
A German: I am a very loyal and obedient slave Madame.
Vicky Caramel: Did you read my profile?
A German: Oh, you only take girls
Vicky Caramel: I know
A German: I have no limits. You can fist me in the arse.
Vicky Caramel: What makes you think I'd want to do that?
A German: You can cut my dick of or kill me, I don't mind.
Vicky Caramel: I do!


***

Italian Men

An Italian: You are very beautiful.
Vicky Caramel: I know
An Italian: You have a nice ass
An Italian: I love older women, so sexy
An Italian: I love you big its
Vicky Caramel: Thats nice dear.
An Italian: I have a castle. would you like to see?
Vicky Caramel: Did you read my profile?
An Italian: Yes
Vicky Caramel: And?
An Italian: Very sexy pictures, you are beautiful lady
Vicky Caramel: What part of 'Lesbian' are you not getting?
An Italian: Why don't we go somewhere beautiful and talk about it.
Vicky Caramel: Yeah, lets not.



Based on real conversations at the Bondage Ranch.


***

Ghetto man

(after deliberately pushing me)
[17:35:31] Ghetto man : I did not mean to push you
[17:36:19] Ghetto man : I dont persay like Mistresses nor believe in them but I am not rude
[17:37:28] Vinny Caramel: What do you mean you don't believe in Mistresses?
[17:38:24] Ghetto man : well to be honest I think they are a peice of shit on a sim if you want my honest answer
[17:39:08] Vinny Caramel: Well it's honest. And it tells me a lot about you.
[17:39:22] Ghetto man : Good I hope it was clear
[17:39:49] Ghetto man : but sorry for bumping you I know you like to stand front and center
[17:39:58] Vinny Caramel: yep
[17:40:14] Ghetto man : attention seeker I read your site
[17:40:22] Ghetto man : I laughed the whole day
[17:40:38] Ghetto man : have a good day
[17:40:48] Vinny Caramel: uh-hu... Sorry, who is being an attention seeker? You want a reaction?
[17:41:27] Ghetto man : No I was just saying I am sorry I dont like to talk to wannabe men so you are now muted
[17:42:18] Vinny Caramel:  I don't wannabe a man, but I'm more of a man than you'll ever be.

(Continued in local)

[2011/12/25 17:43] νicky Caramel (vinny.caramel): So Outcast.... you really muted me?
[2011/12/25 17:44] Onyx (onyx.kelberry): Vicky he aint worth talking to anyway
[2011/12/25 17:44] νicky Caramel (vinny.caramel): Really, you send me insults by IM and mute me so I can't respond?
[2011/12/25 17:44] νicky Caramel (vinny.caramel): Frightened of how I might show you up?
[2011/12/25 17:45] Doro (doro.blackheart): outcast´s brain is smaller than his dick^^
[2011/12/25 18:01] νicky Caramel (vinny.caramel): Outcast - Your head is tiny. Suits you actually.

A touch of class

I have always thought that anybody who uses the expression 'classy', isn't. Today I read this in a profile...

NO "QUICKIE" rape scenes. Have some class!

...and don't forget to say please and thank you - there is nothing worse than being raped by somebody who lacks common courtesy!

Heaven forbid.

I guess everything is relative.

I wonder, should Raffles the Gentleman Rapist buy her a full dinner afterwards, or would she just settle for a Kebab?

My word is law, here at least.

I believe that respect needs to be earned... but in my own home, my own bedroom... I demand to be treated me with reverence. My house -- my fucking rules.

I trusted someone, allowed them into my sactury while I was naked and vulnerable, frozen on a pose stand.

The bare minimum I'd expect is common courtesty, but if they can't even ask for consent before splashing me with thier dick, I don't even want to know people like that exist.

"Scum" isn't a word filthy enough.

I don't care what the intent was. It's unforgivable.

How did it make be feel? Well seeing myself being sprayed with cum made be feel a little sick, appart from that I felt foolish for reaching out and befrending somebody who had so little respect for my SL that they feel they can wipe their dirty boot on it despite my protests.

I felt that my beautiful home, the place I had made cosy, warm, safe, had been defiled, polluted with filth.
I felt outraged that somebody I was showing kindness to, showed no consideration to my feelings and treated me with no respect.

Worst of all, worse than the idea that they may consider me worthless and fit only for abuse, is that they may have thought my mind to be as depraved and disgusting as theirs.


I have security now. I hope you will all understand if the white list is very, very short.

Oh don't worry, I'm a tough old Doris, I'm over it already.  But I don't tolerate people taking liberties. Think of me what you want, but you still require my consent, and no always means no.